To wake up this morning and read some of the negative comments (on both sides of the argument on materialism) still being made in the "Do You Own More Than One? ;)" post is very sad... what is even sadder is that this has been happening more and more in the posts.
This has been bothering me tremendously, so much so that I have not been posting as much myself (not only because I have been "turned off" but to also not fuel the negative off-topic conversation). I have been receiving lots of emails from members who have been "turned off" by the negativity as well, even stating that they too have been frequenting the blog less as a result.
I am not sure if another "J.Crew Aficionadas: Please Re-Read :)" post will do, since the last one seem to only temporarily work.
So I ask you all, what should happen next: Should I remove / keep the Anonymous posting feature (even though I do feel like its only punishing the majority for the tiny few who are using it to post negative comments)? I will have a poll on the side of the main page. The poll will run for one week. I hope you all take out the time to vote.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
200 comments:
Dear J.Crew Aficionadas & Aficionados: Please feel free (and encouraged) to share your thoughts and opinions. :) However, please note that this is still a personal blog. So comments that are considered inappropriate (e.g. obscene, racist, homophobic, personal attacks, rude, and just plain mean) will be removed.
And now back to J.Crew! :)
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Alexis I too have been frequently this blog alot less, however I have seen this happening on most blogs and forums. These boards now have to be moderated.
ReplyDeleteNot to be a downer, the economic times are scary and I have noticed an increase with the negativity, less tolerance, with the daily news being so bad.
Alexis you have done a great job, this blog has grown and unfortunately along with the success comes the trolls.
If you remove the anon feature JC employees will not be able to post here.
ReplyDeleteThanks casual crew for the nice words.
ReplyDeleteI also worry that JC Employees may not be able to post as easily as before. However I am hoping that some will sign up for an account- which is relatively easy to do (although some members have experienced some difficulties in registering). :)
If the trolls are just ignored I wholeheartidly believe they will go away. I just take a deep breath and do not type a reply.
ReplyDeleteThere are definitely more nice anonymous people posting than neg. ones....
I really like hearing from the JCrew employees as well...
Julie
I'll admit I frequent this blog less since some of the posts have taken on a more negative tone. I think there has to be a way to "agree to disagree" on these threads w/out attacking. If that makes any sense.
ReplyDeleteI do think you are doing a great thing here. I know it keeps me in the loop about what is going on at the store, sales, new items, etc. I hate for it to lose its original purpose b/c of a few bad seeds.
I would like to see the ANON feature removed...the JC employees can make up a name such as *JC_Employee* if they want to post...it's not difficult to do. There needs to be some sort of accountability...it's also not fair to the anonymous posters who ARE friendly and contribute to have the nasty anons *taint* the anon name. A name should be required, IMO...this has gotten out of hand, and the nastiness needs to stop. Just ignoring has not worked...something more needs to be done.
ReplyDeletepersonally I just ignore those annoying posts. they are totally doing it just to bug us and fool around. theyre going to think it's even funnier that we're so concerned about them. BGD
ReplyDeleteAlexis, I appreciate all you do for us and like having the blog to visit every day.
ReplyDeleteI have no issue with anon posters in general, but feel it might be good to temporarily disable the feature.
Also, regulars, please stop feeding the trolls! Ignor them and they will find other boards to annoy.
I already stated my opinion in the "Do You Own More Than One?" post. I used to get excited when I saw that a post had a lot of comments, but lately I know that it's just going to be a glut of negative comments and it's tough to try to skim over them looking for posts that add value. I come here for fun and camaraderie, and like Audrey said in another post, not debates on consipcuous consumption, etc.
ReplyDeleteI think the anons should go. It is YOUR blog here, so you should make a solid decision about what you want to do. I appreciate your consideration to be democratic about this, but begging and pleading for civility will only get you so far. So, make your policy and stick to it.
ReplyDeleteMy vote is to get rid of the anon feature. Like FFM said, it's not hard to type in a name...if someone is so concerned over identity, they can make up a name for themselves or JC employees can make a "jcrew employee" name.
ReplyDeleteHowever, I do agree that ignoring the comments would help. I know it's human nature to fight back when we've been insulted, but it is just what those anons want, and responding is only fueling the fire.
Alexis, I hate the situation you're in. Know that we all appreciate you and will support whatever decision is made :)
I set up a blogger account but am unsure of how this would stop the "anonymous attackers" from accessing your site. If a blogger has an account, can you contact Google and report abuse?
ReplyDeleteI don't have a solution for you but I want you to know I love this blog! It is a great place, along with some of the other blogger's individual sites (Slasteena, Shannon & recently found Gigi's) to read reviews and opinions of JCrew's merchandise.
Whatever you decide, please don't discontinue your blog. Smile and have a pleasant day!
I always post anon because I honestly can't remember a handle name and password...it is totally sad and my husband calls it momnesia (I have a 6 mo old). That being said, the comments from people who feel totally free to be rude and inconsiderate can only be stopped if they are required to create a handle. If this is to be a community of people who want to discuss JCrew in whichever topic they so choose, there needs to be consequences to rude behavior. Having a name will create consequences and allow people to just ignore that one person's comments or leave the site until the offender leaves, thus giving the offender no fodder to continue their comments. If necessary, I will write my name and password down in order to participate:) I also want to say that I truly appreciate this site as I live overseas and I am not able to try on clothes before purchasing...this site has really helped me in the ordering process, so thanks to kind posters!
ReplyDeleteI have participated in other blogs where "anons" with names have made the blog a useless place to visit. So I don't think getting rid of the anon feature is going to change the situation, except for maybe temporarily.
ReplyDeleteI agree with the posters that suggest ignoring the anons who post negative comments. Its actually kind of funny when one of those comments pop up and the rest of the conversation keeps going as if it never happened!
Good luck with your decision.
Alexis, Thank you for this post. I really think action needs to be taken and the feature needs to be removed. I used to love coming here and lately many of the comments have upset me too much to to continue reading. I hope we will all vote to remove the Anonymous feature and protect this place that used to be so happy.
ReplyDeleteI guess these things come with popularity. I've been haunting this blog for a while now, but as "word" has spread, the trolls have come. It's happened with other sites-- urbanbaby gets a story on the today show, and for the next few days, these annoying, waste of time responses pop up.
ReplyDeleteI imagine some computer geek or mean spirited unhappy people get some satisfaction out of baiting people that just want a break from the real world for a little while and indulge in a shared passion, be it unwise, materialistic, or whatever. It's the nature of the internet-- someone can say something they'd never have the nerve to say in real life.
I miss the days before the trolls. Maybe they'll get bored... maybe they'll continue to enjoy the rise they get when they "attack" someone for buying multiple cashmere sweaters. Oh well, whatever. But Alexis, I hope you continue with your blog-- it's a welcome respite from whatever cnn throws my way.
alexis - I want to start by saying that this blog is a wonderful place, I have met so many great people here, and I couldn't be more thankful for it. I really appreciate what you have done, and am also truly saddened but what has been going on lately. But as others have said, with increased popularity comes a bit of insanity, unfortunately.
ReplyDeleteI know that stopping the anon function probably won't stop the problem entirely, but I think it would help. So I vote yes. I also think that encouraging any jcrew employees to email you in the side menu or something like that might help with the issue of them not wanting to post with an identity. Just an idea.
don't get too discouraged alexis! I know that if we all band together we can get the community you started back!
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ReplyDeleteI read a lot of blogs including this one but rarely comment or even read the comments unless it's something that really interests me. I know banning Anon's is annoying but it really does cut down on the negative comments so maybe try that for a while and see what happens. I wouldn't let it force you to close up shop or post less frequently. It's your blog and you should be able to write what you want regardless. If people don't like it they don't have to read!
ReplyDeleteAnd I think you can get rid of the anon feature, but the trolls will still get in, unfortunately. At least it might require more effort on their part, so the lazy ones will stay away... but we must ignore them.
ReplyDeleteJust one more thought - Having a name is not going to stop the negative comment, names can be easily made up, and there is no limit of names a person can have.
ReplyDeleteKitsmmony had a great comment regulars stop feeding the trolls.
FFM:
ReplyDeleteThe thing is people have not tried ignoring...there are always nasty retorts.
Ignoring does work...
J.
I do agree with casual_crew that with the economics of late, people are just in bad moods! But that doesn't excuse some people's negative and rude comments!
ReplyDeleteIt does stink that JC employees won't be able to post as anon (which is always appreciated), but signing up for an account (or multiple accts for that matter) isn't too difficult, so hopefully they would still be able to post under a vague blogger name!
I agree that ignoring can work, but it will be hard to get everyone on the good side to do this. I'm sure there will always be someone new to the blog who will respond. It might work to try a period of disabling the anonymous feature - just to see if we can weed out the negativity.
ReplyDeleteI agree wih everyone about the anons. I think it should be disabled for a bit. If a regular anon wants to post, they can create a name to use. I usually post under anon (due to being able to post quickly at work) but I went ahead and created a name. I love this blog and hate to see the negativity.
ReplyDeletealexis- i did email you about a week ago about removing the anon function. but lately, i think that if people want to bad enough, they will make negative comments under an account name anyway. it may not stop them. maybe a better way to go would be to give someone the ability to delete their comments when they are posted, like a moderator, so that you don't have to constantly monitor the chatter. i guess you can only delete if they have a name too, so maybe a combination of removing the anon and having a moderator would help.
ReplyDeleteI think we should just ignore the negative comments. Not everyone who post anonymously has something negative to say and it would be a shame to prevent those with thoughtful contributions from posting. I know it doesn't always work, but are the negative comments really that distracting?
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I'll keep posting either way! I love this blog!
Oh, and does anyone remember what size Italian boucle skirt covert5 was looking for? Thanks!
JCrewaficionada needs to merge with LolFed
ReplyDeleteAlexis, thank you for raising this subject so we can share our thoughts with you on it. I understand your angst over eliminating the Anonymous posting privilege. I believe the majority of malicious posts are made by readers who come here solely to wreak havoc. I feel that authentic readers who post dissenting opinions should always be welcome. In my mind, the issue has never been about differences in opinion, but rather rudeness or personal attacks.
ReplyDeleteI have definitely been visiting Aficionada less frequently in the last 4-6 weeks. This blog had become my early morning routine since July. I had such fun reading here and getting to know other readers and getting an education on savvy J.Crew shopping! I still stop in when the RSS feed tells me that a new post is up, but I very rarely read all the comments, especially once I see a malicious one. Visiting Aficionada used to be a virtual escape from the stress of the day. But now, coming here requires me to stop, take a deep breath and steel myself for whatever nastiness may be going on. I have avoided responding to malicious posts, except for the case when questions and accusations in posts were directed at me and I was concerned that other legitimate Aficionadas might believe the accusations if I did not respond and clarify. I absolutely agree that we should, as a group, stop responding to the malicious posts, as responding just perpetuates the cycle.
I am not a Pollyanna, and I am perfectly able to withstand differences of opinion and even personal attacks - I learned about "sticks and stones" a long time ago! The reality that life isn't always fair or pleasant is not lost on me, nor most Aficionada readers. However, Aficionada isn't about real life! It is about an admittedly superficial passion for fashion and clothing. Most people aren't coming here for socio-economic commentary or to be lectured about their choosing to indulge in buying or discussing J.Crew clothing. There are plenty of other blogs available for those discussions.
That being said, I vote for temporarily suspending Anonymous posting. This would give us an immediate respite from the malicious anonymous posting, and it will also give the legitimate Anonymous posters a chance to explore setting up a Blogger ID, which can easily still be, essentially, anonymous. (It is very simple to set up a secondary Gmail address that does not include any personal information, and then create a new Blogger ID based on that secondary Gmail address. I would be happy to set up a tutorial on this or to assist any readers in this process.) Readers would have time to get used to using a Blogger ID and decide whether they would be willing to continue doing so. Then, if you chose to do so, you could re-activate the Anonymous privilege. If the malicious anonymous posting resumed, then you could make a more permanent decision.
Alexis, I adore Aficionada and I adore you for starting it. I hope you can find a way to keep it enjoyable without having to stray from your original intent.
FSW
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ReplyDeleteI agree that ignoring is probably the best tactic. I'm not that experienced at blogging, but can't the nasty anons just make usernames and continue with their nastiness? We have also seen a lot of great anons who are very sweet and provide useful information to us.
ReplyDeleteBut I will back whatever decision Alexis comes to. :)
*The above deleted comment was mine. It had so many typos I couldn't stand it!
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I didn't read all the comments on the other post (way too many to get through!) but I've found that most blogs I read do not allow anonymous commenting. It is not hard to sign up for a blogger account. If someone really wants to be anonymous they can just make another blogger account just to post on this site. I don't think it is punishing anyone to get rid of anonymous commenting.
Alexis, I love you blog. Please do not remove the anon feature. As many have said, creating a name is easy both for those with negative and positive things to say. However, it may stop those occasional browsers who have a question, coupon code, or tip from posting. If we all just ignore the negative anon posts, these people (clearly with too much time on their hands) will find a new target.
ReplyDeleteBtw, I always type my name in. Would I have to set up an account if anonymous posting were disabled? (Sorry - this is the first blog I've ever followed/posted to!)
ReplyDeleteAlexis- I really appreciate the anon feature since I post mostly from work. I have trained my eye to immediately ignore a rude/nasty post. I view it as part of the territory. However, if it is wreaking havoc with the rest of the bloggers, I would disable the anon. feature and report abuse when necessary. You should not have to run this blog like a Kindergarten.
ReplyDeleteI think Fashionista Social Worker says it best, and I agree with her 100%. I have been upset by the negative posts as well, which I find are downright rude. It was a major effort to be the bigger person and not respond, but I refuse to get involved in a catty exchange! There will always be miserable trolls out there looking for attention, and we should feel sorry for them because they are missing out on a truly great blog. Alexis, you have been doing a wonderful job, and whatever decision you come to regarding this issue I support. If the negative comments keep coming, we should all JUST IGNORE THEM. Have a great day, all! :-)
ReplyDeleteI know I read from work on my breaks and occasionally ask a question or post a coupon...anonymously...if it is disabled I won't do so anymore...I will just read and check on the other things. I just scan and ignore the negatives...people will continue to most negative things and I have seem people come up with really nasty user names instead of anonymous so would be worse to see those popping up in my opinion...where there is a will there is a way and disabling the anonymous won't keep them from coming if they really want to....I just suggest ignoring first if almost everyone agrees to that; then, secondly, disable the anon. temporairily. I always try the less evasive manner first....
ReplyDeletewow, I didn't realize how that post exploded like that! I posted earlier in the day and hadn't checked back. I just posted this there, but I wanted to repost it here in case people aren't going back to that post:
ReplyDeleteI'm late to the controversy, but I just wanted to add that my duplicate purchases have been made over the course of literally a decade of jcrew shopping. It's not like I bought 5 cashmere sweaters last winter. I'm definitely not rich, and admittedly I probably spend a bit more than I should on jcrew (though the only other store I shop at more frequently is the Goodwill!).
I think a lot of us here work hard for our money, or save in other places so that we can have a few nice things. Also, not all of us have children or mortgages, so we spend our extra income on clothing.
Also, I'd like to add that it's amusing that there will be anonymous trolls posting about how cheap we are when we "bitch" about jcrew sales, final sales, and price increases, but then those same types of trolls ridicule us for buying duplicate jcrew items!
ReplyDeleteI have read this blog for sometime now and only recently created an account because I share in the same passion for JC. I was experiencing the same frustration with vanity sizing, the glitches in the JC website and the inconsistent sales policies between one CSR to another.
ReplyDeleteHowever I was also impressed with some people's outlook on the stores, the clothes and the fashions! It is these ideas that should be cultivated and encouraged on this site. I think it is sad that some anons feel the need to post nasty things. These comments can be hurtful and especially mean spirited to Alexis who probably did not envision such negativity when she created this blog. Let them post, a bully is a bully no matter who they post under.
The negative comments are annoying but the best tactic in dealing with them is just ignore them. Those posting negative comments are baiting us.
ReplyDeleteI dont think removing the "anon" feature will completely remove the negativity.
Alexis - I just wanted to say what a great job you are doing with this blog. I have a 1 year old and taking a break to read J Crew Aficionada while he is napping is such a treat. I truly believe that ignoring the trolls is the best way to make them go away.
ReplyDeleteI say temporarily disable to give us a break, but no point completely doing away with it since the negative folks will just create a user name if they're really committed. They are the modern day equivalent of the small town busy body getting in everyone's business with never a good word to say about anything, whether they know what they're talking about or not. Ignoring is best. We need a "don't feed the trolls sign">
ReplyDeleteAlexis: I would like to second lauren knoop's notion that while we do appreciate that you would like to make this a democratic decision, you run this blog and should make your decision swiftly. We love that you want our input; don't mistake what I am saying. But I think this situation calls for some leadership and being wishy washy about it is only empowering the mean-spirited trolls who are sullying your wonderful creation. Please don't interpret anything I am saying as negative; I have been a loyal reader and participator on this blog since May and I love coming here every day. I have even made friends with some of the people on here. You have all helped me develop my personal style and find my "voice," and I am so grateful for that. I just think, as you and many others have said, that clearly things have gotten out of hand and something decisive needs to be done immediately. If it doesn't work then remember you can always try something else.
ReplyDeleteI think it's interesting that the conception here is that the only "negativity" comes from anonymous postings.
ReplyDeleteI think you should make this blog private, that way people will be forced to have a name!
ReplyDeleteI do see a lot of rotten posts, and it is disheartening, although, frequent posters (like some that have already posted on this board) dish it out, and when they do so, choose the anon feature as well. So, really, it goes both ways. People must realize that every topic has two sides to it, and if they don't agree with something, it's better to just let that person get it off their chest and move on. Snide remarks will just start a war.
The topics do draw some heat, and although I love jcrew, I can see how topics that drive people to post every item of multiples would upset some that don't agree with it. IMHO, it may come off a bit excessive. I know people will angrily respond with "get off this post" comments, but it's kind of my observation.
Again, this is Alexis' blog, so she can manipulate (not in a bad way) it any way she would like. Ultimately, she knows what she's doing and knows what direction she wants this blog to go in!
Many blogs I frequent require creating an account to comment. You don't have to use your real name so there is no fear of giving up personal information, but for someone simply wanting to post a nasty comment, taking the trouble to log in is a deterrent. So I vote for disabling anonymous posting.
ReplyDeleteAs one of the anons who was involved with the fracas last night, I actually do think getting rid of anons, for at least a while, might help. I started out trying to come to the defense of my favorite bloggers, but then degenerated to snarkiness and rudeness after being personally attacked. I am pretty sure I would not have acted this way if my name would have been attached to the postings. I actually do not agree with ignoring the negative rude people. Apathy is a major malaise in our country right now. However, I do wish I would have replied to the attacks in a classier and more ironic manner.
ReplyDeleteI post under ss-but I just registered for an account using the name JCrewSS. I'll do my part in working to make this blog a more pleasant place to be!
ReplyDeleteMy vote is also to eliminate the anonymous feature. Most of the nasty comments are from anons, and it gets so confusing when responding to anons.
If everyone is being honest, the reality is that regular posters with names often use the anon feature to say things they don't want attached to their board names. They then proceed to refer to the anons as trolls, even though they use the feature when they're feeling feisty about something. Taking away the anon feature will cut down on some of this, but not all.
ReplyDeleteI think the timing of yesterday's blog was not the best choice considering the stock market and economic crisis. In my opinion, the format of this blog allows everyone to add their "two cents" but unfortanatey some of the anons and some board names take swipes at each other that make it unpleasant.
ReplyDeleteOlivia
I guess taking away the anon feature will be interesting, as it will then be the same 10 people tossing information and trading recipes back and forth. Wait, that's called JCrew Chatter!
ReplyDeleteAlexis, don't worry so much when people are rude. The tone quickly returns to a more genial one when a new thread is introduced! Please leave the anon feature so that jcrew employees, or the simply forgetful, can post. And thanks.
ReplyDeleteAlexis, I am so sorry this is happening to your amazing blog! I have so enjoyed reading along for quite some time and posting regularly. I too have developed so great friendships.
ReplyDeleteHowever, I too have posted less just for fear of being attacked. My concern is that may be the very objective these trolls are trying to accomplish. So we can't give them the satisfaction.
I also feel that ignoring hasn't helped. There's always someone who responds. I had tried so hard to hold my tongue for several weeks, but yesterday, I decided enough was enough. I want this wonderful blog back.
My son was dealing with a bully in school last year and we kept telling him to ignore him. The situation continued to escalate until the Principal finally got involved. Yet the bullying still didn't stop.
We finally gave our son permission to stand up for himself and restrain the bully. (Not hit back, just restrain). He did and it finally stopped.
I think disabling the anon feature will restrict some of the trolls because they may feel more accountable and more conspicuous.
Also, it makes the conversation must easier to follow if people have some sort of an ID rather than several different posters all with the same "anon" name.
Alexis, It's so kind and thoughtful of you to open the subject up for voting. Ultimately, this is your blog to handle as you wish. You've done such a beautiful job with it already. I know you'll continue to do the right thing whatever you decide.
I agree with Olivia. In this economic time, that's like posting, "these are all the bank accounts I have" or "I've frequented these places for fine dining". You may be offending those who may have lost their jobs, or worse yet, someone (who was on this blog) who was about to lose their home.
ReplyDeleteTry not to start topics that may hurt other people's situation.
While I agree that turning off the anon feature may help temporarily, there are a lot of sad individuals that will go to the trouble of creating one, if not multiple, aliases to comment.
ReplyDeleteI am all for ignoring the trolls and moving on. If everyone refuses to be baited by these individuals the comments will die a slow death and it will no longer be "fun" for the trolls to continue. Generally I have noticed that the troll comments start fairly late in the discussion - so it's almost easier to let the post die. Or maybe those who are enthusiastic about the post can just keep adding positive comments - killing them (the trolls) with kindness! :)
Alexis, you are doing a wonderful job here...I am so grateful that you have taken the time to give us a wonderful place to "visit" and discuss JC. I consider a person's blog their "home" and try to treat it with respect and courtesy. You should rest assured that whatever you decide to do is fine and right - it's *your* space and we are just guests :)!
Alexis - Leave the anon feature and strongly encourage people to ignore the negative/nasty posts. I'm sure over time if we all make a concerted effort to ignore them they'll go away.
ReplyDeleteI love the tips and information that I learn about J. Crew here. However, what Tina and Olivia are implying would make the blog nicer intrigues me. I just can not understand how it is Alexis's responsibility to respond to individuals respective economic and personal issues. The suggestion for yesterday's topic had come from a previous posting. FOr the die-hard fans of J Crew it was a fun opportunity to share what we love about the brand. If that offends people in any way, that is their responsibility. Not Alexis's. I just really think we all need to stop putting our baggage on this blog and bring it back to the clothing and the company. It is just unfathomable to me that a blog titled "J Crew Aficionada" is ever going to be considered remotely sensitive to current economic trending, or that it would be expected to be.
ReplyDeleteJenn, asking the blog to be nicer is not out of line. You scoffing at the idea of making this blog nicer can also be called into question. I'm a little resentful of that.
ReplyDeleteAgain, when Alexis posts her Plea for Common Courtesy she is clearly addressing yourself and other regular posters as well.
I come to this blog for fun discussions about a store I love. I'm not flaunting anything, and although there may be tough economic times, this blog is an inexpensive way to celebrate J Crew! This blog also helps me to save money on my purchases and get opinions about items I am considering buying. Lets not loose sight of our focus- J Crew! There are other blogs out there for discussions about the economy, mortages, elections, etc. etc.
ReplyDeleteThis blog is fun, fun, fun!! Thank you Alexis! Anon comments or not, I will continue to religously read this blog! And I pledge to post in a positive manner from this point forward!! :)
Alexis, I think this blog has been a wonderful way for so many of us to share ideas, opinions and experiences. It's too bad a few negatives require you to feel badly and refrain from posting.
ReplyDeleteThere are a number of things you can do, but I agree that some J.Crew staff might not post without the anonymous option.
Maybe we need to look at the very negative posts like poor drivers. I experience poor drivers daily; I can simply ignore them and let it go, or allow they behavior to ruin my day. These bothersome people are everywhere and we can't allow them to ruin what a wonderful venue your blog is.
Ultimately the chioce is yours Alexis; it's your blog and your efforts. I will respect whatever decision you selct.
Once again thanks for all your time and energy in providing all of us with this blog.
I think removing the annon will reduce the number of postings, probably from those better informed "insiders".
ReplyDeleteI love this blog, and I think that most of the time is just about sharing info, but sometimes the question leads to odd situations.
I think there are ways to answer to the "would you get more than one?" that sound less like an opportunity to show-off and more like an opportunity to give/get good advice on what are good deals.
Otherwise, Alexis, you are doing an excellent work. Thanks for that!
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ReplyDeleteAlexis, I'm torn on this issue. While I agree that anon post should be eliminated in order to minimize the number of negative posts, I also feel that it wouldn't be difficult for the negative posters to create an account and continue to post negative comments. I don't feel that eliminating the anon feature will solve anything. I believe that we need to simply ignore these posters. They remind me of 2 year old children who are seeking attention - regardless if it's negative or positive. They simply want to be noticed. Ignoring the temper tantrums of 2 year olds work. They eventually realize that their screaming and yelling and bad behavior isn't going to get them anything so they eventually stop. I'm hoping that this will work on the negative posters as well.
ReplyDeleteWhat I've noticed is "Why are these negative posters" here on this blog anyway? This blog is about J Crew but it is very much about shopping (a past time that I love). Why are these posters trolling these blogs? Why don't they join a blog about saving money if that's what their focus is on?
One other thing, why are these posters judging others? I am certain that every blogger on this blog is of a different financial status. I don't believe that we are all the same. Some make more money, others less. How we choose to spend our hard-earned money is our choice, and no others. Why do people assume that we're all in the same financial situation as them? I truly hate that preachy attitude; people who preach to me about the state of the economy and how I shouldn't be spending my money on frivolous items, etc.
It's one thing to offer an opinion. It's another to be condescending when offering an opinion.
Alexis, I realize that I got a little off topic there. Sorry. Whatever you decide, I would support you 100% of the way.
I feel like I've contributed more than my fair share to this blog, whether it's where to find something, coupon codes, discounts, secret sales, what's hot, how something fits..etc.
ReplyDeleteI am sad, too, that this blog doesn't take into consideration other people's economic status, rather people are ok rubbing other people's faces in it.
So this is my last post. No more freebies for you ladies, no more insights, no more secrets. No more free meals to the beasts that feed off of the good things brought to this board.
Bye bye!
I find it a little hard to figure out how a blog devoted to shopping at one particular clothing store is expected to solve people's feelings about varying economic statuses (or, as I like to say, stati), but that said...
ReplyDeleteTo "balance out" the 'do you own more than one' post, how about a post about the following:
What's the best deal you've ever gotten on an item of J.Crew clothing?
Also, as for whether or not you should disable the anonymous option, here's my opinion:
ReplyDeletehttp://icanhascheezburger.com/2008/10/13/funny-pictures-pthpbpbpbppththbp/
Totally kidding! It's your blog, Alexis, and you've done a fantastic job with it. Do what makes you feel most at peace with yourself and your creation.
I went back and read some of the posts I had missed in the "Do you own more than one" post. Oh My Gosh, some of the stuff is really BAD!
ReplyDeleteI can't believe that some people would stoop so low as to sling mud just because someone else owns more sweaters, shoes, bags, jewelry, etc than another person. What others choose to do with their money, spend, save, give, etc, that's there business and no one has the right to tell them what to do with their hard-earned money.
Don't judge. If you feel that you must judge, as yourself this; WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE? It is easy to resort to judging. We all do it sometime or other. But remember this, "Ye who is without sin, cast the first stone."
i am an employee and i do not think i will post if the anonymous feature is removed. i am not sure i should be posting, and don't really want to get in trouble if i'm not supposed to. sorry.
ReplyDeleteTo anon at 12:06: I'm not sure what your post means. You stated "this blog doesn't take into account other people's economic status". I'm sorry that you feel that way, but what can anyone truly know about anyone else's economic status from a post on a blog? I don't think that's what this blog is about - Its about a love of J Crew! Feel the love!!
ReplyDelete12:06-
ReplyDeleteI think leaving this blog is the best thing for you, and I'm glad you've come to that decision. If the reality that others have more than you hurts you, and you chose to come here anyway, you are rubbing your own nose in it. You can't expect the world to fall in line to your expectations on everything. Most of us, thankfully learn that fairly young. This is a blog about shopping. If discussion about shopping hurts you, and you continue to come to it, you are responsible for your own feelings. Trying to make 50 odd people of varying economic situations feel bad along with you is statistically impossible anyway.
Anon @12:21 (JCrew Employee): Instead of not posting, why not use the Name/URL option and make up a name such as LoveTheCrew, or something. Noone will know you are an employee unless you choose to share that information. You are more than welcome here...please consider my idea as an option. :)
ReplyDeleteExactly...even if you do use the name/url option, or even the blogger account option, no one will know your identity. I don't know the names/occupations of anyone else on this blog unless they've shared it!
ReplyDeletei have been visting this blog very frequently and contributing regularly. To be honest with all the accounts i have these days between emails, online shopping and all the rest, i really don't look forward to creating another account. I enjoy the fact that i can post as anonymous without going through the hassle of creating an id.
ReplyDeleteirene
It's always easier to be anonymous. You could post without consequences. Ah, I still remember the time when there was a person who followed me from post to post only to start an argument. Some people have too much time.
ReplyDeleteHonestly though, I'd rather you remove anonymous posting. It's not that hard to register. Hell, it only takes about 2 minutes.
Tina - I am not "scoffing" at making the blog nicer. If you read my posts from last night, I do want the blog to be a "nice" place. That said, I also expect it to be an honest place with interesting opinions regarding J. Crew merchandise, tastes, etc. If Alexis tries to be sensitive to people in her post topics, then those interesting opinions might be lost to all. . I just think we should be accountable for ourselves and our individual circumstances and not ask Alexis to start trying to take that on herself. This is a hobby, not a career and the blog topics are those of an enthusiast. That is why I started posting back in late July and why I am still here today.
ReplyDeleteanon @ 12:06: Please do not fret. This blog is all about people who can/will share with us where to find something, coupon codes, discounts, secret sales, what's hot, how something fits..etc. You are not the only one who does this, and I am sure that someone will quickly step in and fill the void left by your departure. It is an awesome blog, why shouldn't they?
ReplyDeleteAgain, don't fret about this blog's lost "freebies" resulting from your departure as we have people on here with a wealth of knowledge about what is going on with J Crew, including employees that so graciously offer their insight and advice. I must believe that if you know many J Crew "secrets" then you must be as entrenched in the J Crew addiction as the rest of us which, therefore, makes you one of those damn well dressed "beasts feeding off the good things brought to this board".
So many great comments. I agree, Alexis, that you should make a quick decision on what to do. It's your blog and thanks to you & your husband(!) we've had the opportunity to create a great community. Just wanted to acknowledge your statement long ago that he helped you when you got started.
ReplyDeleteI think the requirement to have a login will cut down on negativity. Yes, the negative ppl can create an id or multiple ids to post under, but it takes effort to log in. There are many places I visit online and want to comment or ask a question but don't because I have to take time to log in.
I think *some* of the anon comments are great and I wonder about the women writing the good ones. It's been nice getting an idea of who someone is in relation to fashion or having a quick exchange with someone about clothing fit when I see the same username. It's much nicer to see a name instead of wondering if I'm still in conversation w/the same anon or a new one. Points to the anons that sign their posts with a name.
As far as yesterday's topic. I just didn't see it as flaunting or negative. I don't think that anyone has ever said 'I am better than you because...' however, some people have taken comments that way. Our various feelings are a result of the lens we view life through. My lens is different than others. It's ridiculous to get upset about what's on here. It's like believing in reality tv. Take it for entertainment and move on already. I am here for fun so the topics are fun. We all own more than one top or pair of pants. It's funny, imo, to own one particular item in multiple colors. If someone is getting that upset to read online that a person has 20 pairs of high heel flares or whatever, then that individual should do some inner reflection instead of attacking morals. I could have been lying about everything I put in my post and who would ever know? In the past I definitely looked at owning multiples of one item as indulgent and never thought I'd be 'that girl.' However, it's a testament to the fit and look of J Crew that I now see differently. I also know that my entire life I've been wasteful by having a closet full of clothes I never wore. Now that I love everything I own (65-75% Crew), I wear them in a solid rotation.
And another thing...just because media is focusing on tough times, we're all of a sudden supposed to put on black and gray, be somber and be mindful that others are suffering? Suffering and lack didn't start when the Dow began to slide. It's been a constant of life. My consciousness of others is also a constant and doesn't vacillate given what the media is choosing to focus on. We should all be thinking about our neighbors regardless of whether we're prospering as a whole or not.
In the meantime and in the future I will simply ignore the flamers and trolls.
Wow, there are so many things wrong with many of these posts, I don't even know where to start.
ReplyDeleteFor example, I love when people try to assert that they are fair and hate the negativity, yet refer consistently to other people as "trolls." Very very mature! Practice what you preach.
The whole "I earned it, I bought it" approach is completely valid. But does it have to be repeated 5x by every other poster?
Also, I agree with everyone that this is a blog about a clothing store, therefore it is to be expected that people will talk about actually buying things... however, if you expect readers who don't agree not to respond when they are offended or surprised at the content of the posting, why don't you just make a closed group of upper-middle class stay-at-home soccer moms that can all talk about JCrew together without such inconvenient reality checks?
Oh great, I just invited 450,000 posts about how "I work for a living! I worked hard to be where I am! I put myself through medical school! I work a 9-5! "I buy everything half-price!" Please, if I want to read a billion posts like that, I'd just sort through the archives and read them all over again. My points are that (1) when the posts invite (albeit unintentionally) a comparison of how much stuff you own, you can expect some people to get riled up; and (2) Why is there the need to repeat everything over and over again? It makes reading the blog a time-consuming chore; and (3) If you are going to respond to negative posts, do it in a nice manner instead of perpetuating the negativity by calling people trolls?
j.l.: You are trying to start yet another negative situation by mentioning JCrew Chatter. If you want to comment on the issue at hand (negativity), then do so, otherwise please do not comment on things that are none of your business.
ReplyDeleteUgh, this blog is becoming a mess and hard to read.
ReplyDeleteI somewhat agree with "fed up". In many forums I belong to there always seemed to come a time when the board became large enough to contain a vast number of differing opinions. This isn't any different. Some boards restrict and police posts, others say this is a message board and people will just have to accept that there are others that don't share your opinion and you'll just have to suck it up. I hope this place becomes the latter. To me it creates a much more welcoming environment when you feel you can state your opinion regardless if it's the unpopular one without getting your head chopped off.
ReplyDeleteFed Up: I would like to point out that this "negativity" issue has been an on-going problem, not just a result of last night's comments. It's not a differing opinion that's the problem, rather the *attacking* manner in which differing opinions are conveyed. The insulting tone is what's gone too far.
ReplyDeleteThe beauty of this blog is that we are all kinds of people from all walks of life with all sorts of opinions. Since this is a public blog, we should learn how to convey a dissenting opinion in a more tactful, adult manner.
Fed Up - Yu are so much fun, I certainly hope you stay on the blog. Your opinions are very similar to mine, yet you state them so much more colorfully!
ReplyDeleteAgain, though, the issue is not the differing opinions, it's the tone in which they are stated. Say what you like, but do it respectfully and kindly. Not only is it less offensive, but people will take it more seriously as well.
ReplyDeleteI'm with you Heather! This is getting out of hand; it's a blog about J Crew, we should really stop taking things so personally. In the words of Rodney King "Can't we all just get along?"
ReplyDeleteOh, ladies, trust me, if this was a place where people's opinions were respected, posts would not be deleted and posters would feel free to post under their own names because they wouldn't be afraid of being shot down by everyone else.
ReplyDeleteIf I went to a Maserati board, and complained to the posters that their incessant discussion of their respective Maserati collections made me feel like crap because I could only afford a Celica, they would laugh me off the board, while wondering about my mental and emotional stability.
ReplyDeleteIt's no different here. Why would anyone come to a board/blog about J Crew stuff and then complain when people talk about their beloved collections?
As in life, the internet has a certain percentage of people with mental and emotional instabilities. As far as I'm concerned anyone coming to a board about J Crew, and using it to complain about collecting J Crew stuff is unstable, and needs psychological help.
Fed Up I actually kind of agree with you here too. I was awfully surprised that Alexis removed the offending posts from last evening. They may not have been nice, but they were not threatening or dangerous in any way. My surprise was because so many people were upset when J Crew asked Alexis to remove a post for "business" reasons, but no one complained about these posts being removed. However, ownership has it's privileges and if Alexis thought they needed removed, hers is the only opinion that matters.
ReplyDeleteWow. This is just a blog about shopping. I come here to see how other people like items, to get coupon codes, to maybe find some items I missed. I am no upper class soccer mom, but a working person with credit card debt that probably shouldn't be buying anything anyways. I can't afford what others can and sure, maybe it hurts a little. And when I go to a mall, I envy the person in front of me in line that buys a $1000 worth of non-sale items. But that's life-- I still go to the mall. I'm a big girl, and my momma didn't raise no spoiled brat. We're not all the same, people!
ReplyDeleteOh, one more thing-- other boards use the term "troll" for baiting posters trying to stir up trouble (Merriam-Webster: to fish by trailing a lure or baited hook from a moving boat. I don't think the use of "troll" is immature-- it's not like we're calling someone an ugly hairy monster under a bridge.
"why don't you just make a closed group of upper-middle class stay-at-home soccer moms that can all talk about JCrew together without such inconvenient reality checks? "
ReplyDeleteOh right, they already did that, its called jcrew chatter!
Having a scar from being stabbed inTianamen Square is one thing, but bragging about having 11 pair of $79 pants is another. You are just saying I'm a rich old cougar and you are not!
Anon @ 1:25pm, your comment made me laugh out loud because 1.) It made total sense; 2.) It made me realize how insane yet insignificant all this is.
ReplyDeleteSo far, she has done an aweswome job of steering this blog, so I will not question her decision.
ReplyDeleteWOW!
ReplyDeleteFirst, many of the comments here (both pro and con anonymous posting) have been very well articulated & argued, with great insight. You have given me lots to think about. Thank you- I really appreciate your position and the reason behind it.
Second, some of the comments here (both pro and con to the argument) have really made me question running this blog anymore. The point of this post was to "be nice" to each other (one of the reasons I enjoyed this blog) and still, there are some "not so nice" comments being made.
Third, I feel like I am in catch-22 again. If I don't remove Anonymous posting abilities- I will lose members from returning to this blog. If I do remove Anonymous posting abilities- I will lose members from returning to this blog.
If I moderate the comments- I will lose some members of the blog. If I do not moderate the comments- I will lose some members of the blog.
I try to consider everyone's opinion and situation as I best can, but at this point, this is really starting to take away the fun behind running this blog- which is just about a retail store at the end of the day.
Alexis: Well, you can't control everything. Just do what you think is right. There will always be disagreements. There is no right answer. There is no permanent solution. All you need is a right balance.
ReplyDeleteIf the blog is shut down you all will have more time to shop and spend your husbands money at jcrew.
ReplyDeleteFed up,
ReplyDeletePlease see the following defintion from Webopedia.com. Otherwise, I agree with your post.
(v.) (1) To deliberately post derogatory or inflammatory comments to a community forum, chat room, newsgroup and/or a blog in order to bait other users into responding.
(2) To surf the Internet.
(3) To hang around a chat room reading the posts instead of contributing to the chat.
(n.) One who performs any of the above actions.
"Troll" generally is used appropriately on this blog.
Restrict the anons and make this a private blog.
ReplyDeleteJC employees shouldn't be going against their company to even be on this blog, afterall, there's probably something they signed to keep them from divulging in company "secrets". But then again, that will probably upset those who need a daily dose of what the inside scoop is.
If you're so curious, after you drop off the kids, go get a part time job there and post your findings privately!
"...this blog- which is just about a retail store at the end of the day."
ReplyDeleteAlexis: well said & maybe someone is trying to get you to discontinue this blog. Please don't give in. I'm seeing other post's where people are really using this blog for the intended purpose. You have the best site about JCrew. Take a break and walk away from this post. Tomorrow is another day my friend.
Alexis,
ReplyDeleteI really would hate to see you shut down the blog as I value the information I get here as well as the interaction with the regular posters. It is just a retail store, but I have not found any other place to discuss my addiction as most people just don't get it. I would miss this terribly.
It isn't that hard to create an account for this board and still remain anon. If an anon doesn't want to go to the trouble of doing so, it really makes me question his/her motives for posting here. Sorry, but I personally feel there are more pros for removing this ability, at least temporarily.
I hope you decide to remove that access and at least see what happens rather than shutting down completely.
Please don't take your toys and go home. If that happens, the people that show up just to make trouble win.
Jcrew will write up anyone they find posting on this board...that's what I heard, so becareful who you befriend in here. It's not worth your job.
ReplyDeleteFormer employee
I agree with KeepTheBlog: I think it's very possible that someone is trying to sabotage Aficionada in order to get it shut down, and it would be a shame to see them succeed! This blog is the best there is regarding all things J.Crew...you should be proud, Alexis...YOU ROCK!!!
ReplyDeleteAlexis, I agree with Kitsmommy, please don't let them win.
ReplyDeleteanon @1:28, you are completely reading into the 11 prs of cafe capris thing. How do you know she didn't buy them all for $20 on final sale? Perhaps she just meant to share how much she likes those pants, not that she is somehow better than other people because she has them. The fact that you are reading such negativity into it is very paranoid.
ReplyDeleteAnd another thing re: "taking into account other people's economic status," there are plenty of posts on here about liking certain items but waiting for big mark-downs, abstaining from purchases for a while, etc.
ReplyDeleteIn any event, as another poster said, if reading posts about shopping are going to make you feel bad, you are on the wrong blog.
Why not just leave it as is, and accept some cranky nastiness now and then? I read the post from last night, and really, it wasn't THAT bad. I promise you, no one will leave because your blog is too addicting.
ReplyDeleteAfter awhile everyone will get used to the same old whiny commentary, and they, and you will become desensitized to it.
People who have less are, to varying degrees (some get manic, and may need meds) jealous of people who have more. It's been that way since the cave man days. You may want to avoid politics, but if these folks keep posting this stuff, you have to make a choice, and jump into the fray.
Part of the reason people are responding to this crap, is that they are allowing their insecurities and guilt to get the better of them. Like I said on the Maserati post, a bunch of (mostly) guys listening to someone telling them that they are bad because they buy and collect stuff, would laugh and move on.
I say, leave the board as is, and laugh off this stuff. if everyone lowers their sensitivity levels and gets a good giggle out of some of these posts, I guarantee, it'll get easier.
Fed Up:
ReplyDeleteYou just summed up exactly what I have been wanting to say. Thank you for putting it so well and being so aware of all points of view!
"closed group of upper-middle class stay-at-home soccer moms that can all talk about JCrew together without such inconvenient reality checks"
ReplyDeleteJ.Crew Chatter! It's not the answer, it's the solution.
anon @ 1:28, Didn't she say she had all of those cafe capri's because she was stabbed and had a huge scar she was trying to cover? Give her a break.
ReplyDeleteI have been preaching the IGNORE rule and way up there somewhere in the post someone wrote about how much fun it was to see EVERYONE just ignore some nasty remark that was made recently--I mean an obviously true "troll" remark. Skipping over it as if it never existed. I LOVE when I see that--it gives me such satisfaction when I notice that happen. The same satisfaction the troll gets when we respond. We need to work on doing that ALL the time. IGNORE! Then there is no concern with ANON.
ReplyDeleteI will admit to all here that I have made ANON comments (points to insecurity, I guess) that may have gone against some of the "friends" I feel I have made just so that I could make a suggestion or comment that may not go with the current trend (albeit always with a nice tone) but not just for the FUN of it like a true troll would.
"Fed up" I just want to suggest what I thought was obvious. You might not want to visit topics that stir up envy such as "tell us about items purchased in multiples" Your comments make it obvious you have issues and it is best you avoid topics that lend themselves to that type of response. A blog is just that--this one happens to be about the fun, yet very superficial topic of shopping, outfit building and how to get a better deal at J Crew. Anyone that joins here has to realize that they are stepping into a world that is just that VERY superficial. We can all buy the cheapest things from Wal-Mart or Target (and many of us do that as well). Bottom line is we must cover our bodies BUT since we LOVE all things J Crew we choose to come here and talk about our purchases without the fear someone is going to step in and give us a "dig" on our conspicuous consumption. I guarantee there are only a handful of bloggers that routinely pay full price for ANYTHING. J Crew has set a precedent with consumers that are going to wait for a sale...because they CAN and never have HAD to buy things full price.
Alexis-it is up to you and I can see why you are totally confused at this point and I feel BAD that you feel "at a loss". I would personally leave ANON alone and ask that along with the "common plea for courtesy" you add a "plea to ignore the trolls". I find I really need to step away-take a deep breath and just ignore people who are stirring up trouble. Which by the way have been described as just what they are..trolls. We are not talking about people that have differing opinions (though we need to think hard before responding to them as well:)but people that routinely come on to start trouble for the purpose of starting it.
Alexis,
ReplyDeleteI have been working all day and I only just caught up. Please keep the blog. I would hate for you to have to shut it down. It makes me so upset when people attack you or the wonderful group of supportive individuals who post here.
And for all those who think that this is an upper-middle class blog of SAHM's-- I am a woman in my 20's, a social worker, and working to pay off my grad school loans. I buy j.Crew because it is affordable and I can look stylish in it! There are wonderfully diverse individuals here and that is what makes this blog such a fun distraction!
Please don't stop blogging Alexis, we would miss you
IGNORE rude anonymous posters!
ReplyDeleteWe love you Alexis!
MB
Alexis,
ReplyDeleteIn the end, do whatever makes you happy - this is your blog. Life will go on and people will or will not come back to blog. In the end, we all just want to talk about J. Crew clothes. I absolutely LOVE this site. Because of posters here, I have tried and gotten items I never would have before (chiffon rose belts, Andrea jacket, Fiona jacket, and Cooper chino jacket just to name a few). I think what is going on here is too good to let go. You have done such a great job with this blog. Removing the Anon feature will at least keep away the lazier people who might have negative things to say. Also, you have the right to remove whatever posts you do not think are appropriate. Thanks so much for running this blog and lets keep it fun and about J. Crew!
alexis: Please do not consider shutting down this blog. I think that you are doing an awesome job and the WONDERFUL people who post on here are such a refreshing part of my day! Thank you (for about the millionth time) for introducing me to both women and men who share my passion for J Crew. The true gems of wisdom that I have received from reading this blog are worth every negative post and then some. I just think that you will have to overlook and move on. Keep up the great work, because the VAST majority of us are so appreciative of your efforts!
ReplyDeleteJeannie (jcrewjunkie)
11 cafe capri
ReplyDelete4 cashmere t's (long sleeved)
3 cashmere t-necks
5 cashmere cardigans
3 short sleeved cashmere t's
2 bateau sweaters
9 jackies
2 trouser jean
2 buttery twill trouser
6 pique polos
4 slub cotton graphic tees
3 painter t's
4 bootcut cords
7 ballet flats
8 summerweight bermudas
5 uptown bags
3 pique swimsuit coverups (a must have at the pool)
headbands, belts, socks...
many multiples from years past, but I don't remember their names.
Cass: I rest my case. Tell me she doesn't think she is better than everyone else. She disgusts me.
Maybe that poster lives in the store. LOL.
ReplyDeleteBut I agree, that's totally disgusting and seemingly a competition.
So if I have 12 pairs of chinos, that person would probably slam me for having too many.
I agree with Anony @2:22.
ReplyDeleteNicely said!
L.
Perhaps what happened with the multiples post is that the REASON that people bought multiples of something was lost and it just became a list of things. ie, people didn't say - I bought 9 jackies because they have a perfect fit and the color selection is divine. I am not defending nastiness, nor do I have a problem with the actual OP, I just think that seems to be the jist of the upset. I also however, do not feel that anyone needs to justify their purchases of multiples to complete strangers.
ReplyDeleteAnony @2:36 PM
ReplyDeleteremember the Gin Blossoms...
Tell me do you think it'd be alright
If I could Just crash here tonight
AS you see I'm in no shape for drivin'
And any way I 've got no place to go
And you know it might not be that bad
You were the best I ever had
I hadn't blown the whole thing years ago
I might no be alone
Tomorrow we can drive around this town
And let the cops chase us around
The past is gone but something might be found to take it's place
Hey jealousy
Hey jealousy
Hey Jealousy
Hey Jealousy
You can trust me not to drink
And not to sleep around
And if you don't expect too much form me
YOu might not be let down
Cos all I really want's to be with you
And feel like I matter too
If I didn't blow the whole thing years ago
I might be here with you
Tomorrow we can drive around this town
Andlet the cops chase us around
The past is gone but something might be found to take it's place
Hey jealousy
Hey jealousy
Hey jealousy
Hey jealousy
Tomorrow we can drive around this town
And let the cops chase us around
The past is gone but something might be found to take it's place
Hey Jealousy
Hey Jealousy...etc
Listen to my heart
There's only one thing I can start
Alexis, I agree with Kitsmommy, please do not take your toys and go home. Please continue with the blog. You do a FANTASTIC JOB and there's no other blog around like this one.
ReplyDeleteRegardless of where we work, live, play with, etc, there will always be a few mean-spirited people. That's just part of life. You can't rid the world of mean-spirited people so it's best to simply ignore them.
Whatever you decide with respect to the anon feature, I will support you 100%.
One thing I've noticed just from the posts today, there are a lot more people who've never posted before who've now started posting under a user name as opposed to being anonymous. That's saying a lot. Kudos to everyone who's created a blogger id.
weab, I am sorry your soon had to deal with a bully...ignoring a bully does not help. You are right there...I taught first grade and 8th grade for 10 years....
ReplyDeleteBut in this case IGNORING:) will work as this is not a physical bully attacking...I believe that ignoring is the best and that has not been given a chance here.
Also, fed up you are so right. I enjoyed reading your thoughts/comments.
Yes, we should stop calling the negative people trolls!
C.
Sorry for the typo:
ReplyDeleteSoon should be SON:)
To Anon @ 2:36pm, I personally don't think that the poster who listed everything she has in multiples thinks she's better than anyone else. She was merely listing.
ReplyDeleteBut if, for a moment, she thought she was better than everyone else, ... SO WHAT? What does it matter if she thought was was better than everyone else? It's not important. It's her money she's spending, not yours. Relax!
I was the one on yesterday’s board who felt the initial dismay at the posting. I was not, however, the rude anon who later in the conversation engaged in mean criticisms of other members. In my postings, I stated that I love shopping J.Crew and love this blog, however as much as I love shopping I do sometimes struggle with this accumulation of “things” and my desire to always want to buy more. As someone who loves shopping at J.Crew, I try to avoid getting sucked into excessive materialism and the desire to always get new things. I think my feelings were sparked by this as I watched other members post comparing how much of this and how much of that they have. It just rubbed me the wrong way, and I apologize if I offended anyone by saying it in my post. However, these feelings being stated out loud in such a forum seems completely applicable to the topic at hand. It is not saying that I am jealous of anyone, think people shouldn’t be shopping because of the state of our economy, or any other reason like that. It is just a matter that I think is pertinent and a thought that is not wasted as it always seems like we should be open to looking at our topic from different points of view. The post was followed by lots of defensive and attacking comments that I think are what spurred on the “troll” who later attacked the rest of the members. This is just my two cents. I tried to say it civilly I hope it doesn’t once again land a wave of anger.
ReplyDeleteAlexis—please don’t stop this blog, even from my differing point of view at some points, I love it and think you are a wonderful moderator.
It's my tax dollars at hand when I have to pay for her welfare check and food stamps. So in a nutshell, she will eventually be spending our money.
ReplyDeleteCovert5 – If I am reading my post correctly, my point was not that I cannot deal with comments that stir up envy, what I said is, if you decide to post on such issues, do not be surprised if it riles people up. Actually, my exact words:
ReplyDelete“when the posts invite (albeit unintentionally) a comparison of how much stuff you own, you can expect some people to get riled up.”
However, I thank you for just proving my other point (that these posts are completely redundant) by going into yet another exhaustive chronicle about why everyone deserves to buy themselves jcrew. The original poster that made this point should have copyrighted it so that he or she could continue to get credit each time a poster tries to paraphrase it in a new way.
A few other things I love:
-history lessons referring to “the cave man days”
-lyrics to a song about breaking up
Believe it or not, I really do like this blog and respect the opinions of 90% of these posts. And, no, I was not a poster the other day who thought the topic was too materialistic, and I almost even posted to it before I saw all of the controversy that it brought. However, I am so frustrated by the way that everyone handles it, that I could not help but add my two cents. But come on, some of this is just flat out ridiculous.
OT This is not meant to be offensive to those that work there but with regard to J Crew employees..this has me thinking. Have any of you actually ever learned all that much from those that do post, I mean anything that is vital?? It's nice to hear how something fits or what to wear with this particular item but it is never vital info that I can recall-correct me if I am wrong.
ReplyDeleteIn fact, I feel there are some anons that try to steer us in a certain direction. They make comments such as how cheap everyone is on this blog-comments about our unruly expectations to stack discounts etc. My intuition about SOME of these comments is that perhaps it's even J Crew mgmnt types (okay, maybe their secretary:) Now I may sound paranoid but I am not talking about the "run of the mill" SA at a store that comments on when the merch should be put out or when to expect this catalog etc.
In fact, I think any of us could find out and would find out and post this type of info without them involved. Sometimes I hesitate and actually don't post something that I think will ruin all of us with regard to the policies and procedures I have used and sometimes abused (yes, I said it.) I wish the higher ups didn't have access so I could say more to all of you...but I hesitate. I feel like they would like this thing to disappear because it helps people to find better deals and use (or abuse) the system. They removed their store form retail-me-not coupon codes on the internet, do you think they like that we advertise each and every coupon, deal and way around the system-hmmm, I doubt it.
On the other hand--it is a BOON to their business as I have no doubt EVERYONE that routinely buys has bought something they never thought they would or something they were hesitating about and got the proper feedback. That's a true benefit to all of us and one of the reasons the blog was established--to be sure.
Food for thought.
It's so funny how people see things.
ReplyDeleteIf I read that someone has 9 of this or 5 of that, I just think, "Oh, nice collection." pretty simple. Someone less emotionally stable might read the same post and attribute all sorts of posturing and preening to the poster.
Honestly. no one here needs to explain or justify what they have. It makes me sad to see posters trying to explain, like "Yes i have 6 of those, but I got them super cheap!" When you do that you are admitting that the Troll has a point, and you are trying to get the Troll to understand you.
The smartest thing any of you can do is to revel in your choices. Don't make excuses for thing that don't require excuses. Any type of attempt to justify your choices is feeding the TROLL.
I didn't read any of the comments.
ReplyDeleteAlexis, this is your blog. I don't think there is a right response. I'll keep practicing my policy to ignore those-- anonymous or not-- who only contribute negativity and irrelevant criticism, and I'll keep commenting on what is relevant to that day's entry.
In the end, about this blog, I'm not sure how much I need another "10% OFF $175!!" coupon code, but I rather enjoy the helpful community on here.
Anon @ 2:50: Thank you! I think your comment was very articulate. I was one of those who listed her "duplicates" on the other post, and I'm sorry that it was blown out of proportion by trolls or those who misunderstood that the post was done in a spirit of bragging. That was not the way meant by the original suggester for that post, Alexis, or the comments.
ReplyDeleteYou ladies posting about coupons, discounts, combining discounts and which stores are doing what have screwed us all over. It's like taking what you know and have learned and nailing it to every telephone pole in America.
ReplyDeleteTake it to a private chat. But you revel in the idea that Jcrew reads this blog, but then you bitch and moan when they take certain things away from you, such as coupon stacking, etc. Especially when they see you laughing about how well you made off with x, y, z discounts.
So seriously. Privatize those comments. Do whatever you have to, just quit messing it up for a regular person who just wants to get a decent discount when buying their seasonal items.
And to all those J.Crew employees, I would be hesitant too about posting here- it doesn't take long for a company to crackdown on you.
Obviously hdayton is embarassed by her excessive spending because she deleted her "multiples post"
ReplyDeleteMaybe she is at jcrew buying more clothes to make herself feel better and "cover up that scar"
Self reflection hurts sometimes...
ReplyDeleteCovert5 -- I have thought the same thing on many occasions! In fact, during its first month, I thought Alexis was a JCrew employee being paid to promote the store so well (sorry Alexis:) I know now that you aren't because you give very balanced reviews of products, and you talk about other stores as well).
ReplyDeleteI would not blame you for shutting down the blog...
ReplyDeleteWhat about moving to typepad and then banning IP addresses? It is pretty easy. Depending on how much time you have you can even set the comments to not post until you have approved them.
I'm sorry you have to make this decision but the internet is a lot more difficult a place than it was about 4 years ago :(
I agree with Marie. It's like with the necklace gift from Mickey for the cardmembers.
ReplyDeleteWhy post it, Alexis? Are you not exercising good judgement? Are you hoping everyone writes a nasty gram and sends it to J.Crew? Sometimes I question the motives of some of the posters. Are you trying to make others feel less, or just trying to rub their noses in something you got and that they didn't?
And keep in mind, J.Crew was not happy with your kids bragging about something that was a gift and more on the personal side.
Just a thought...rereading the post on multiple items from yesterday...I think if people would have kept to listing the garments they have multiples of and not the actual number of that item than things might have been kept at the "fun level"......just a thought...Like general: I have multiples of:
ReplyDeletefavorite fit tees
Capri pants etc.-- and not-
20 favorite fit tees
10 capri pants
Anon at 3:17, then she would have missed the chance to tell us that she had spent at least 10 grand this season.
ReplyDeleteI just created an account after posting anonymously for so long. It was really easy to do.
ReplyDeleteTina, I don't think you read Alexis' post about the necklace. She was excited that some cardmembers were getting gifts. Your reaction goes to a bigger issue here... if J.Crew does a nice gesture for some of its customers, then some of you get upset. If Alexis posts something, then some of you (Tina) think it is rubbing noses. Take a step back and just relax.
Anon @ 3:17 I think you make a really good point!
ReplyDeleteYes, I think yesterday's post on multiples and the gift necklace and gift cards for favorites are posts just "asking for trouble". Maybe some rethinking on posts of this nature is in order.
ReplyDeleteJanny, it may not be her intention, but that's how I read it. I didn't get a necklace and I was wondering why. Again, it's an exercise of good judgement. Perception is reality, so if she puts it out there, she is welcoming the talk, opinions and observations of others that did or did not get the necklace. Either way, the post was removed at the request of j.crew management, which was a good move on their part.
ReplyDeleteYou can be excited all you want for those who get special gifts from the company. But do so quietly, otherwise it's bragging.
ReplyDeleteThis isn't about taking a step back and relaxing; it's about being more sensitive to others and being aware of cause and effect.
Anony@3:17 has made an excellent point...
ReplyDeleteHow about an experiment...redo the post on multiples without posting the number of the items people bought and just talk about WHY they bought mutiples of a particular item...Now, that post we could all learn from and then maybe try some of the items ourselves instead of turing it into a quantities list and/or hurt feelings....
Now that would be a post that has real value and I do believe what Alexis was going for to begin with...
Then the "chatter club" couldn't try to out do each other. They might have to go find another blog- oh wait! They already have one.
ReplyDeletehdayton and jcrewjunkie what do you think?
I appreciate that people are willing to look at what could have been fixed about the posting rather than just calling names and accusing others.
ReplyDeleteOk-
ReplyDeleteSo we a 1 or 2 posters that are intimidated by the wealth of others, and are trying to bully Alexis into editing her posts in a way that makes them feel better about their lack of wealth. Lame. Alexis please don't be bullied.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeletecomments are getting sadder and sadder...
ReplyDeletefed up-
I apologize if I misinterpreted your comments. Please accept my apologies. But I took that to mean that you agreed that people were deservedly going to get riled up. Like they had the right to be over that topic and I think it appears that those with a problem dealing with excess consumerism should not be reading a topic about it. I happen to know and admit that I have issues with it--this blog actually feeds it and for me I should probably stay away..but J Crew is the only place I buy my stuff.
Lastly, I think many people were noting the MANY items they have collected over a GOOD amount of time and often for a steal!
People wait for it to go on sale, sale, sale and get 3 pairs of white matchsticks at $15 to wear for many years--the stuff is timeless. I think ruffles, bows and tulip cuffs go the distance--you can ALWAYS wear this stuff IMO.
It's exciting and I am the first along with all the others to BOAST about my awesome deal, steal or bargain! I thrive on it and don't shop any other way. Period.
Janny, quit drinking the koolaid. It ain't that good and doesn't score you more points around here.
ReplyDeleteI'm not going to comment anymore on how you or I READ things because that would be another can of worms. Clearly, you can't see what I'm trying to explain, rather you choose to attack someone who is level headed with discussion.
Ladies and gentlemen, here's the problem with your blog. People like big old meanie, Janny, who want to start a war.
Wow! On and on the haters continue to spew. You know who you are. I find you amusing, but I truly feel sorry for you (you must feel so small inside). Now on to more important things! A note of encouragement to Alexis…
ReplyDeleteAlexis, as a fellow J.Crew enthusiast I have been a reader of your wonderful blog almost from inception. I enjoy all of it…the good, the bad AND the ugly. I have never posted until today. However, given your seeming despair at the quandary you feel you are facing due to "the ugly," I felt compelled to finally "voice" my point of view - as probably a more neutral voice (I suspect that some of the regular posters may have a more skewed opinion one way or the other…because they DO participate and may have been the target of "the ugly." Which is not my situation.)
Alexis, on behalf of the untold number of silent Aficionadas, who read but do not post, I am asking that you please do not let your current contributors (on both sides of the current issue and the "haters") steal the joy that caused you to start J.Crew Aficionada or cause you to consider ending this blog.
Keep on keeping on…and just do what makes you happy. If disallowing anonymous posts (for any length of time) makes you happier than reading the recent rash of "the ugly," do it. It could be temporary to calm things down or permanent. Or you can just leave things as is. Trust me, there are silent Aficionadas who find all things J.Crew entertaining, even "the ugly." One way or the other, if some of your current posters stop posting, that's fine (but I hope not since I love all of the positive regular posters and look forward to hearing from them daily). Those who truly love the topic "J.Crew" (or who just have thick skins or are not fatally offended by "the ugly") will stick with you and J.Crew Aficionada or return in time. And new enthusiastic Aficionadas will come to post as well. This is a given and has been proven during the history of this blog. You built it - and they came, and will continue to do so, so long as YOU ALEXIS DO NOT LOSE YOUR JOY. I sincerely hope you do not. It is your joy with all things J.Crew that brought us all together in the first place.
To me this can be summed up very simply:
ReplyDeleteIt is not the responsibility of this blog or it's posters to make you feel better about your financial status.
If someone posting that they have 11 pairs of capris makes you feel so small and insignificant that you have to spend hours complaining about it, you should be on pychological-disorders.com.
How about:
ReplyDeletejcrewaficionadas-pychological-disorders.com.
I hear they're accepting new members and it's a private blog.
Oh man this is what is wrong with this country!! Now a blog owner has to be p.c. about what she posts so she doesn't make someone jealous? I guess next JCrew should give clothes away to those who can't afford them...yeah, that's the American way lately, give to those who can't earn for themselves.
ReplyDeleteIf you are reading the blog and becoming jealous, don't read the blog. The Maseratti poster is dead on right about this issue.
Alexis can post about whatever she pleases and you can choose not to read it. You can also choose to comment on it but check your super-sensitive self at the door!
It's just clothes and Alexis didn't have to ask anyone's opinion on how to handle the situation, she did so as a courtesy.
It's sad that this post has 150 comments and I am disappointed with myself for caving and reading and replying to it.
Actually Anon 3:29 has a good point--that would be more helpful:)to know why buy more than one.
ReplyDeleteI felt like I wanted to explain and actually encourage people to ask me why I had mulitples of one item..asking people to inquire if you wanted feedback whether it be fit, color, style etc. I personally took the post to be that way...expressing the ultimate love for a particular product enough to buy it in say almost every color. This happens mostly with staples for me as "special" or particularly noticeable tops etc. I don't care to be too repetitive with.
Anon 3:20 anon 3:24 and all the other commentary pointing to disgust-one word for you, JEALOUSY.
Stop reading the blog if you cannot cope, please.
covert5: you are not the one I have the problem with. Hdayton did not explain why she has so many multiples neither did jcrewjunkie. Nor did they offer any feedback. They just listed all of their items and they are missing from the current conversation.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeletecovert5- I have more clothes than that, but I certainly don't need to throw it in anyone's face. I make more money and save more money than anyone here. I don't discuss it, it's rude. I am blessed and lead a life filled with good things.
ReplyDeleteSo no, calling me jealous is not really in line with how I feel about someone who has 12 pairs of chinos and has to put it out there, expecting someone to pat her on the back like she's achieved something spectacular.
I don't thing Alexis meant do cause any issues with the posts about the giftcards or the necklace. I for one will get along just fine without a $25 token from J Crew. I am happy for those that received them.
ReplyDeleteIt is not unusual for retailers to do little things for certain customers based on them spending a certain amount or just a having a good relationship with a particular SA.
I was amazed that these posts were taken the way they were by other readers.
I agree with Janny. Just take a step back and relax.
Anon at 4pm: Instead of attacking these posters, why didnt you just ask them "wow, you have a lot of those items, why? Is it the fit?" You may be surprised what you'd find out. Maybe you might just make a friend along the way! (or at least find out if they got a great deal so next time you can too)
ReplyDeleteYou run such a faboo blog that I think you should do your best to ignore the unhappy and miserable people that post. I don't think the anon feature taken off will stop them. :-( I just glaze right over them and don't waste my time reading them. Keep up the great work!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI don't know hdayton but I also don't see that what she posted deserves all of this talk. She was stabbed in the leg. I think I would want to hide a huge scar like that too. She probably likes to shop- give her a break.
ReplyDelete*warning: ridiculously long post ahead*
ReplyDeleteI know I’m a bit late in terms of commenting on this but I wanted to give my two cents, and I’ve been in school all day and therefore couldn’t come on the blog. Yes I am in highschool which puts me at a different demographic than the rest of the blog but I come here to discuss J.Crew. First off I’d like to say that Alexis does a WONDERFUL job running this blog, and I give her a ton of credit for posting multiple times a day and always creating new and engaging conversations with her posts and questions. I’ve been reading since July, and had it not been for this blog I wouldn’t have known about J.Crew’s website fiasco and would probably have ordered “risky’ packages. This blog is supposed to be fun – Alexis, you shouldn’t have to stress about this at the end of your day!
Anyway, I read all of these comments and I have some opinions to share.
1) I agree that the anon name fuels the majority of the mean-spirited comments. I’m not saying that all anons are evil, in fact, I’ve read tons of well-written and beneficial comments by anons. But it’s much easier to write something derogatory or catty when hiding behind an unknown name and your computer screen. It’s like texting versus talking – much harder to say some things to the face.
2) There has to be a way to express individual opinions without being nasty or starting fights. Even though I don’t always agree with everyone on this blog, I respect the posters who take the time to write out and explain their point of view rather than just typing a hate message. I like dogs but that doesn’t mean I go around insulting cat owners! (Just trying to give a generic example here…) The key is in HOW you express your opinions. You wouldn’t storm into your boss’s office and demand a raise using vulgar language – that wouldn’t get you anywhere.
3) Sometimes its best to just agree to disagree. The world is never EVER going to agree on anything, so why should all the members of one blog? We just have to respect the opposing views.
4) In terms of the “how many” post, I feel as if some took it the wrong way. I cannot afford to buy all my clothes exclusively from J.Crew but that doesn’t mean I’m going to slam those who can!
5) Some of the “bad” comments are so incredibly rude and mean-spirited that they make me laugh! I honestly have chuckled at a few in the past couple of days. Of course I don’t agree with what they’re saying, but sometimes its best to just step back and laugh at it. I agree with what someone else in this post said: “Kill them with kindness.” I have a friend who, when honked at or given the finger by a driver with road-rage, gives them a large smile and waves nicely. It works every time.
6) If your comment sounds like it could be taken the wrong way, especially over the internet, add a smiley face! I do this all the time and honestly it makes intentions so much clearer to me.
7) If you’re an anon, you should consider joining the board not just because of recent issues but also to become a member of the community! When I see people with the “blue names,” I subconsciously acknowledge them as a returning member. I love to see anons post, yet I feel sad when I realize I will never know who wrote such a nice review of offered to share a coupon with the board.
Sorry for the long post… I’m typing it in word and it turned out much longer than expected. I just hope this blog remains open because it would be such a pity if a small group of people ruined something incredible for the rest of us.
-Katherine
To those who took out time to write nice words about the blog- thank you! It really does mean a lot to me. :)
ReplyDeleteTomorrow is a new day for us to discuss J.Crew.
Off topic and on a lighter note... The 3 year old boy who lives across the street from me is running around his yard wearing his Halloween costume- the three-eyed space alien from Toy Story. He doesn't seem to care at all that he is wearing a costume on a non-Halloween day and I think that is a great life lesson for me today. :)
Alexis, I love the comment about the three year old runnnig arouind in his costume. I remember my sister spending so much money on my niece to dress her so well only to find her in the yard wearing a ratty old princess costume digging in the sand pit with her wand.
ReplyDeleteThanks for all you do Alexis, I enjoy your blog and all I've learned about J.Crew from it. While it's only clothing, it's nice to share about it with like minded people who understand my J.Crew addiction.
It's interesting -- I've had co-workers make comments about my wardrobe, catty-ish ones, I mean. And I do love clothes, I'll admit. My entire family is that way. Anyway, the last time someone said something, it was a woman who sits next to me. She mentioned that a new store had opened nearby, and I might like it. "You spend a lot more on your clothes than I do -- I wouldn't shop there," she told me. I didn't know how to take it and didn't say anything other than thanks for the tip. But later on, I thought it over again. I live in a very inexpensive, working-class neighborhood. My co-worker lives at a much, much better address. She is married and has two children -- I'm not and don't have any kids. She has a nifty cell phone and takes trips when she has vacation time; I don't. My point is, we all have something that someone else doesn't have. My co-worker enjoys things that I don't or can't have, and vice-versa. And moreover, everybody has the right to be different, and spend their money differently, than the next person. I hope that makes sense.
ReplyDeleteAnon 4:36-I like that:)
ReplyDeleteAlexis-glad to see you are back and I love today's life lesson-it's the little things indeed:)
Alexis,
ReplyDeleteI really love this blog. I didn't realize i was such an aficionada until i started frequenting your space. I gained such insight into outfits, styles, and the company that i would not find easily elsewhere.
I am an internet free spirit and believe in free communications (though not the obscene). While i would prefer not to be insulted :), differing opinions interest me.
Occasionally, i have seen dissenters who don't share the majority opinion labeled or treated negatively, and i think some of them choose to post anonymously for fear of going against the majority. There are other comments that just come across as insults.
Perhaps, it comes down to what do we define as "nice"?
The more visible or popular this blog becomes, the more likely to see a variety of "takes" on topics. Those who want to express them in a negative manner tend to find ways -- multiple handles, etc. Absent forum moderators or a private site, I think that is the nature of the internet. Knowing this, I guess I would leave the posting as is, ignoring posts that affect my sensibilities. Arguments that are not well-articulated or substantiated tend have no validity for me and i mentally skip over them.
Ultimately, it is your decision and your vision for your blog. If asked my view, I would hope that you continue this delightful project of sharing your love for all things J. Crew.
I just wish I could see the holiday catalog...
ReplyDeleteI too apologize for just now putting in my 2 cents at the end of the day. I've read everyone's comments and there are some good points raised here.
ReplyDeleteAlexis - you do a swell job and you give many of us something fun to look forward to each day before we tackle work/school/kids/life. Don't deprive the world of it because of a few bad apples. Yes, I'm speaking a bit selfishly too because I don't want to see it all go. But I do enjoy the conversations and good suggestions in addition to the coupon codes.
katherined - you hit the nail on the head. You have a lot of wisdom and clarity, for any age. I second your suggestions.
1. anons aren't inherently bad, but it sure would be nice to attach a name (even an impersonal one) with a person posting.
2. It's a blog about shopping, duh! If you can't take the heat, get out of the store! When someone asks what you bought this past weekend, how you used the recent discount, or what items you loved so much that you stocked up on them, you should be able to answer the question without having to justify yourself.
It should not require a sociological analysis of a potential reader's economic status. It should not require an innate understanding of a person's psychological tendencies. It should not require finely honed diplomatic skills. It's just a statement of what you purchased. If you want to elaborate on why you purchased it, fine. I personally have a very difficult time finding pants that fit well. Therefore, I just purchased 2 more pairs of the favorite fit trouser cords with my 20% discount when I saw how well the first pair fit. That's it, and there's nothing more to it.
3. Like others have said, it's not the what, it's the how. To paraphrase Katherine, it's fine to like dogs, but don't go around insulting cat owners. Just be respectful, okay? If you can't be respectful of J.Crew, specific merchandise, or the world in general, then at least be respectful of others who post on this blog.
4. People who take things out of context and who blow single comments/opinions out of proportion are just as responsible for creating negativity as those who purposely post nastygrams. If you're the extra-sensitive type, remember that people are just talking about their own personal experiences. You don't have to agree or be empathetic.
Alexis - your blog brings a lot of people a lot of joy. Most people here mean well and can have perfectly healthy conversations. If you take it away, then the only people who will lose are the civil, responsible majority who did nothing wrong.
Thank you!
Tammy-
ReplyDeleteSince you are addressing me...How on God's earth would you know that you make more money and save more money than anyone on here? That's quite a claim to make. I have to question your pathetic brain.
I apologize that I could not privately message her.
Marie @ 3:06: I would tend to agree with you about privatizing some our comments. I think part of the reason some of the deals/discounts have ceased or been modified is because they caught on to us. :)
ReplyDeleteAlexis, you do a great job with this blog, and it is so sad to see all of the hatefulness that is on here!
ReplyDeleteOthers have said it before, and I will say it again: You KNOW what this blog is about. If you don't like what you are reading, don't visit, and don't start a fight.
I think the Anonymous feature needs to be deleted and we all just need to ignore those who bring negativity to the board. I don't think it makes a bit of difference in terms of ruining a person's anonymity by making anonymous people create "handles", because no one will know who "jcrewgirl8777" is, no more than they know who "anonymous" is. The only difference is that we will know that "jcrewgirl8777" is the one making all of the negative (or fabulous) comments.
covert- i'm sure that tammy is making a silly point. just let it go, it's just easier on everyone's eyes. :)
ReplyDeleteIt doesn't bother me that people own $5000 worth of Jcrew sweaters or whatever. It's your money, your debt, whatever. But I have problems with people coming onto an internet blog stating "I make/save more money than anyone here", or "hubby is going to kill me when he gets the CC bill this month, I made 5 Jcrew orders this week!" Great that you have disposable income, or are married to someone who makes a lot of money. But do you really need to rub it in everyone else's faces?
ReplyDeleteI just got hired at J. Crew (yippee!!!) and had my first day today - which was fantastic, by the way!!. I am a new poster and will definitely create a new id soon in case the anon feature goes away. Its not a problem!!
ReplyDeleteashley: Not if they keep changing their name, there is no limit on registrations per IP address.
ReplyDeleteJ Crew employee here again - almost forgot - the new catalog is great and I'm scanning it tonight!!! You guys have been waiting long enough!
ReplyDeleteIGNORE Negativity, help Alexis out here, don't feed the trolls.
ReplyDeletecasual crew: I know they could keep changing their name, but I think it would just be a PITA. But if that's what they want to do with their time, then so be it!
ReplyDeleteanon at 6:13 - congrats on the new job!! =)
ReplyDeletescreen posts and ignore the negative people. your blog is great. i can't understand why these people are being so awful. so sorry for you to have to deal with this.
ReplyDeleteAlexis, it's totally up to you, and this blog is fantastic. I'm a regular, and have seen the negative posts before, but was really turned off by the prolonged nastiness I saw in the "what do you have more than one of" post. I mean, the blog is about shopping, for heavens sake, an escape from the day to day drudgery of our lives. We all know that times are tough.
ReplyDeleteIf the regular visitors and contributors could just make a pact to ignore nasty anonymous posters, and stick to it, I'd definitely give it a go. If that doesn't work, then I don't think you have much of a choice but to block the anonymous feature.
You are awesome, and I love this blog!
Hello Alexis, I really like your blog, especially the coupons and codes. I vote for keeping the anonymous function. As to how much money other people spend, personally I think it's none of my business (as long as they don't try to borrow from me). Thanks again for keeping the blog.
ReplyDeleteI say you block the anon feature. Keep the rotten kids, jcrew employees (and management), and those who "hide" their identity away. Make it all transparent so we know who we're dealing with!
ReplyDeleteI understand that some people might prefer to post anonymously but it's your blog Alexis :)
ReplyDeleteYou make decisions and whoever doesn't like those decisions doesn't have to read it....
I am not bothered by negative comments-this blog is about JCrew fashion and whoever takes it too seriously may want to visit blogs with more "serious" topics.
Thanks for running it!
Alexis, I appreciate the time you take to allow us a place to talk about some clothes that we like. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteI agree with everyone. Alexis, you do a great job of creating a fun community to talk about clothes and shopping with people you wouldn't normally get to share ideas with. I just signed up for an account tonight, and it really wasn't that difficult. I feel that if you remove the anon posting feature, others that love your blog will do the same. It's a shame that some people are so negative, but I think the general attitude is positive, and we support whatever decision you make.
ReplyDeleteAlexis: I appreciate your hard work to keep this blog enjoyable. We all love your blog!!!
ReplyDeleteAlexis, I am also new to the blog and think you do a wonderful job.
ReplyDeleteI love JC and love hearing everyone chime in about what they love, how an item fits, sale events, new items etc...
We are all aware of our economic times but, your blog is such a shining light in a lot of our days!
Don't feed the trolls, ignore them!
I voted for keeping the anon feature. I can get a lot of information just by reading the posts, but I found that if I can contribute to answer a question on sizing and product availability I would love to be able to do so without having to sign up for a blogger account.
ReplyDeleteI found on other boards that having a handle doesn't stop the nastiness. If you just ignore the nasty comments the trolls will go away and bug some one else.
Whatever you decide, it's your decision as you are the owner. Thank you for the compilation of great information here.
Hi Alexis,
ReplyDeleteI am a semi regular reader of this blog, but I’ve only posted a few times – probably no more than 10. I add my comments to those who think you have done a great job with it and who share your dismay at the tone the discussion sometimes takes.
I honestly don’t think disabling the Anonymous feature will solve the problem you are experiencing. The issue is not just with those who choose to post as Anonymous. This thread is a perfect example. I see plenty of really thoughtful and respectful Anonymous posts and plenty of snide, judgmental, even name calling posts by “regular” or named posters.
I have seen a similar dynamic develop at other blogs/boards I have followed when the regular posters start to develop a kind of “groupthink” where they bond together and tend to have the same opinions. Then other people who may post less frequently are seen as “outsiders” and viewed with suspicion. Dissenting opinions, even if respectfully expressed, are not given equal weight. It’s like a clique forms. This has happened to me here. One of my comments expressed a perspective that differed from the norm and I was rudely attacked by a regular. It certainly didn’t make me feel welcome. Again, read back through this thread and you can certainly see posts that exacerbate the notion of “us” vs. “them”, “good” vs. “bad” and “regs” vs. “trolls”. With apologies to George Orwell, sometimes it feels like all posters are equal, but some posters are more equal than other posters. It is great to see how passionate people can be about a brand, but sometimes, perhaps, people get a bit possessive of what they start to view as their turf.
I remember when the website upgrade took place in July and traffic to this board just took off. So many posters were absolutely convinced that there was a direct cause and effect relationship between the start of this blog about a month earlier and the website changes. Conspiracy theories abounded. Regs felt that J. Crew management was spying on them and that management deliberately disabled every bit of functionality that the regs loved. A few posters started to refute that notion and they were accused of being management shills or grilled as to why they had “all of a sudden” started posting. From my perspective as an MBA with a good chunk of retail experience, the new posters had quite a bit to offer and made very valid points, but their perspective was not really welcomed by people who sometimes didn’t know the difference between revenue and profit (there IS a difference and believe me, it is a HUGE difference to a retailer!!) :-)
Alexis, I imagine you have a feel by now which topics tend to start trouble. I am amazed at the breadth and frequency of the topics that you start and the links that you find! Perhaps you can help to mitigate the problem by selecting the topics with particular care.
Posters, I agree that ignoring obvious trolling posts will help. Your actions can escalate the situation or your actions can defuse the situation. Don’t reply in anger, err on the side of giving people the benefit of the doubt, don’t be hypersensitive, don’t look for conspiracies and try to tolerate opinions that may differ from yours. If all else fails, just walk away. Don’t feel the need to have the last word. I also think that sticking to the topic at hand and not posting a lot about your personal life will also provide those determined to cause trouble with less “fuel”.
With that being said, please accept my next comment in the spirit in which it is meant (although I doubt anyone is still reading the posts at the end of this thread, especially the long ones!!) I get it that this is a blog about clothes and will therefore be superficial to a certain degree. I find the discussion to be quite useful and quite positive when it focuses on how people can help and educate each other – finding a great deal, teaching people how to be savvy shoppers, assessing the fit of an item, discussing the pros and the cons of a style, etc. However, there are times when I think this blog can have a negative overall effect and that is when people start trading tips on how to rip J. Crew off or flaunting their possessions, or “enabling” people who may have a spending problem to spend beyond their means. It is possible for someone to feel uneasy about this and be driven by concern for the people/situation involved or to be turned off by displays of excessive consumption without being motivated by jealousy, etc. I hate to see women make poor financial choices especially when it may be driven by “math phobia”. There is nothing wrong with encouraging people to be responsible in their spending, just as attitudes have changed over time and people are now encouraged to be responsible in their drinking. Maybe it’s not as much “fun” but it’s a lot safer for all of us in the long run. Recent events have certainly shown that we are all a lot more connected in this economy than we may sometimes think.
Beyond that, this kind of lifestyle may not be possible for much longer. From an article I read earlier today:
…Today's crisis is a warning sign, [experts] say, that consumers could be facing long-term adjustments in the way they finance their everyday lives.
"I think we're undergoing a fundamental shift from living on borrowed money to one where living within your means, saving and investing for the future, comes back into vogue," said Greg McBride, senior analyst at Bankrate.com. "This entire credit crunch is a wakeup call to anybody who was attempting to borrow their way to prosperity."
…U.S. consumers will find it much harder to get a credit card, and to carry large balances. Late fees will rise and lines of credit will be reined in.
Hoping J. Crew continues to delight and that all of you are able to remain happy customers in the long run,
- one anon’s perspective
aon 1:39 I enjoyed reading your post, you made same really good points.
ReplyDeleteAnon@1:29
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your entire post...very well-written and your points all make sense. I think you are very level headed:)
Thanks for the post:)
J.
Anon at 1:29: Your post started off calm and rational, and you you made some interesting comments regarding your personal point of view on this board.
ReplyDeleteHowever, you lost me, and I'm sure many others when you just couldn't hold in your true agenda, and started using language like "flaunt their possessions." As far as I'm concerned, you're the same poster that has been whining about this supposed flaunting for two days now.
There is no flaunting. It's all in your head. It's your personal view, and your personal problem.
Stop telling the owner of this board to make changes in her posts. 99.9% of the readers and posters here like it just the way it is. If your delicate sensibilities interpret people joyfully talking about their stuff as 'flaunting' this is not the place for you.
I, for one, whether it be anon or regular board name, plan to continue joyfully sharing my purchases. WITH numbers. Often.
Perhaps you should start your own board. It's free, and you can personally set the tone because it will be yours! Perhaps it will help to calm your obviously tortured soul. Remember -it's YOU who can't read about people's belonging without feeling upset. YOU. Take responsibility for your own feelings, and stop 'calmly suggesting' (yeah right) that Alexis kowtow to your agenda.
Anon, 10:26, don't be a pill. The poster above wasn't attacking anyone, so don't jump all over his/her ass for fun.
ReplyDeleteAgain, that's seemingly the problem...if you don't like it, comment kindly, or lose your fingers in a wood chipper so that you can't type anymore.
anon @3:17, those were my thoughts.
ReplyDeleteI started to read the comments from the multiples post, disliked the tone, debated commenting, and ultimately stopped reading and walked away. it's that easy.
Did it make me feel bad? Do I care who owns what? No. Life is a choice, where and on what I spend my money is a choice, and more importantly- what I read and with whom I interact is a choice. Those comments began to make me feel as though I was frequenting a very... shallow, petty place by visiting this blog. I've never, ever felt that way while perusing any other blog topic or subsequent comments. I see the good intention in Alexis' topic- to be useful, share information and enthusiasm... it is the comments that were... vulgar.
Like anon@3:17, I guess i expected responses more along the lines of 'definitely the cashmere tees- I could wear one of those every day of the week!' instead of... closet inventories which- to my mind- were actually OFF topic and inappropriate. And really boring to read. There was no feedback, no 'these jackets are fabulous, I have a neutral and a fun color' ...just... boring and useless lists. That's what I identified as useless and vulgar.
People who disagree are not 'trolls' whether the term was used 'appropriately' here or not. Calling people who disagree with you 'trolls' is a way of creating a 'them' and an 'us' and that kind of divisiveness isnt in the spirit of what I've experienced here previously.
I'm not a troll simply because I interpreted Alexis' multiples topic differently than some other posters. I didnt like that other interpretation. So I had the common sense to walk away and save my comments for a thread where they might be constructive. I think that's the underlying point: regardless of the 'side' you argue from... you're still arguing.
Hi,
ReplyDeleteI am anon @1:29 am. Thanks to those of you who took my post in the spirit in which it was meant. I wrote it in Word first and did a lot of editing before posting because I really didn't want anyone to take it the wrong way.
Anon @10:26 am. I am sorry that you got so upset while reading my post. Just to clarify, I had Monday off from work, was away from the computer all day and did not post on the multiples thread. I did not even see that thread until after half of the comments had been removed by the moderator. Sorry, but I never even read the posts that set off the firestorm.
My "true agenda" was to give Alexis my perspective on the "what should I do" question. She asked for input into a decision she is going to make and responding to that request is not the same as telling her to make changes in her posts or forcing her to "kowtow to my agenda".
I think there is a difference between "flaunting one's possessions" and "joyfully sharing purchases". I have been reading this blog since it was set up and while I think the majority of the posts are in the joyful vein you reference there has definitely been some flaunting as well.
Your perception of me intrigues me. I think of myself as living a pretty boring life by most standards, but with "delicate sensibilities" AND an "obviously tortured soul", clearly I missed my calling as an artiste! :-)
-Off to buy a black beret and request an application to RISD
PS. If I have offended any real artists (ones with actual talent) by the previous post, I truly apologize.
ReplyDeleteAnon @1:26 am
Hi!! I am new to this site and fully intead to use my name as soon as I can remember what my google screen name was!!
ReplyDeleteBut in the mean time....the negativity is quite sad. Seems to me like the solution could be quite easy. When there is a negative comment, everyone seems to respond, therefore fueling the fire and prompting more negative comments in resonse.
Read it, ignore it, and move on. I'm willing to bet if they quit getting the reactions that they are getting they will dwindle in numbers if not go away.
:-) Love the site!