Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Getting Tired With Some Of The Comments... {grrr}

Let me begin by saying that the majority, of members and contributors to this blog, is truly fantastic!

With that said, I am very disappointed with what happen in this week's The Great {Weekly} Exchange. So much so that I ended up disabling the comments.

After reading the comment made by Disgusted with moderator (in this post), I felt I should respond. I have struggled with the decision about anonymous posters for a very very long time. The fact is that the majority of anonymous posters are great. For example, it was an anonymous poster who alerted us all about J.Crew being spotted at T.J. Maxx. To punish them all for the actions of a few seems unfair to me. (And yes, it really is just a few. I know this.)

I also do care when regular contributors get attacked on this blog. It is awful when it happens. I hate it. I try to delete all mean-spirited comments as soon as I see them or become aware of them.

I have thought about getting moderators, but to be honest it is a lot of responsibility. I don't have the time to do it myself. I also don't want to burden someone else with that task either.

I think we can all agree that this is a wonderful community and we hate to see it get worse, or for the blog to "close up shop." Please don't assume the worst in other people's comments. Please don't respond to questionable comments- ignore it.

So I beg of you, please please please... work together to continue making this site great. :)

123 comments:

  1. It would be great if an IP address were attached to all comments, then we would know for sure if it was the same person, and we could just ignore accordingly. I don't think visible IP addresses are an option on Blogger, though.

    For the most part, the regular commenters here provide good support. Jezebel is a good example of where commenters are very supportive of each other and if someone starts sh!t or says something rude, that person is warned/banned/shamed into shutting up, etc. But, that blog is also not a one person operation.

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  2. I couldn't agree with you more Alexis, the comments espcially in the last week have been bad.

    I am for moderators, if enough regulars would volunteer myself included it would help you out.

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  3. Thanks Heather and Casual Crew for your comments.

    Casual Crew, thank you for the offer. If I get enough volunteers, I may just go this route. :)

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  4. Many, if not most, of the cranky commentary come from regular posters with recognizable names and accounts, who post anon to get their feistier opinions heard.

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  5. Alexis,

    It would be totally nice if people would stop attacking each other. It seems like the same strong opinionated people, i.e., Heather, yesterday, went on a small tirade about who should be able to sell what, and when and to whom. I mean, why put stuff like there out there? Or putting limits on who can buy what shoes and "leave some for the others". I buy from ebay from time to time, and if I don't like something I see, I move on. But it seems like the same couple of people are out to attack those choosing to do what they want with their items, and the same people are writing equally disturbing statements back.

    So, it's not just one sided, some of your blue named people are equally as guilty as the anons.

    Thanks,

    Looking for equilibrium amongst the craziness...

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  6. One of the trolls' purposes is to spread suspicion to weaken the community. Pretty ridiculous to accuse regulars of hiding behind anon. That makes no sense. Nice try.

    I really would not be surprised if anons are market research plants, from jcrew or competing companies.

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  7. 50/50

    you clearly did not understand what I wrote. all I said (and repeated) was *IF* you do not like what the ebayers are doing, then don't buy from them. I did not say "omg you people are greedy!" or whatev. sheesh. get over it.

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  8. How about this? Anytime you see someone post a comment that bakes your noodle, don't write back (even if they deserve it) - try this. Write some funny, peaceful phrase in all caps, like this:
    "i am a peaceful beautiful flower"
    And then write the name of your current fave J.Crew item, like this:
    "corin dress, black"
    Then write your current favorite animal:
    "panda."

    This will result in a proliferation of funny, nonsensical posts, like so:
    "I am the model of a modern major general
    size 2 quinn cami, pewter
    gerbil"

    Then when you see that, you'll KNOW that someone is showing great restraint, and you will love them for their choice of adorable or not-adorable animal.

    I'll try doing it myself in the future.

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  9. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  10. Of course regulars post anon to vent their feeling on occasion. Every day. Very common actually. I don't mind it, and usually it's pretty funny to see 3 or more anons show up to support the 'regulars' controversial opinion moments after the regular has posted something controversial. I always wonder if anyone falls for it, lol.

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  11. ME-OW.

    Lol, I'm sorry. People bicker, it's normal, but a moderator is needed.

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  12. I didn't read the weekly exchange this week as I'm not looking for anything and have nothing to offer. I had to go back today and read some of it. How sad to see such vitriol to/from fellow bloggers who are supposed to be on this site for a common interest.

    I don't always agree with opinions expressed but I can respect that others are entitled to have them. This blog would be extremely boring if we were all of the same mind.

    I was really apalled at some of the comments. Shameful and just childish.

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  13. Alexis:

    Thank you for all you do. :) You rock, seriously...

    anon at 2:57:

    Super Monkey Has Eleven Oranges
    Fresco Cardigan
    meerkat
    :)

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  14. !! Dinagideon, you just made my day.
    -Anon at 2:57

    A.K.A.

    Extra Peanut Butter on My Sandwich is a Good Thing
    Slub cotton-silk Melody dress
    Sea otter

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  15. anon 2:59,
    you seem to have all the facts, but this regular does not, never has, and never will post anon. I was appreciative that people did stuck up for me, though I did not think the name calling was necessary as it only sparked more drama. if I need to vent, I write in my own blog or journal-- see: "the wealth of a**holes"... how's that for feisty? ;)

    I like anon 2:57's idea... a sort of JCA madlibs :B

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  16. I am a unique and beautiful snowflake
    matchstick jeans, crisp blue
    penguins!

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  17. anon 2:57 - bakes your noodle - love it!

    I'm not showing any restraint now but I will post per your suggestion.

    She sells sea shells by the sea shore

    Nicky skirt, gray, size 4

    starfish

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  18. my power steering is fixed
    daisy eyelet mini
    tortoiseshell kitty!

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  19. Posted in the Un-classic Jacket post, but I'll put it here again because it's good.

    I loved this quote from the Michelle Obama article:

    Reflecting on the enormous media interest in her fashion choices, Mrs Obama, 45, said: "I'm not going to pretend that I don't care about it. But I also have to be very practical. In the end, someone will always not like what you wear - people just have different tastes."

    Good advice for those of us bloggers as well. In the end, someone will always not like what you like and we should be practical about the comments others post.

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  20. Yay for heather's power steering

    any driving moccasin...except Sienas

    a rangy mutt

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  21. As you try to do something about the awful comments, could you please do something about the -- I'm not sure how to say it, I don't want to offend anyone -- "in crowd" situation? I've often posted questions on this blog that are ignored. And I've noticed it happening to others too. If someone posts a question, could someone -- anyone -- try to answer it? Please? Even if the answer is "I don't know." I often feel as if I'm not part of the clique. In fact, I found a bunch of JC shoes at a TJ Maxx in Illinois, one that I haven't seen mentioned here. I've wondered if I ought to post the info, considering that I've generally been ignored. I finally decided to post the info -- if I do, perhaps I won't be ignored the next time I submit a question. Hope springs eternal ...

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  22. Trolls are difficult to ignore when they are badgering someone and being hateful. And just as an FYI, I find the 'Don't feed the trolls, CHILDREN' refrain a wee bit patronizing.

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  23. I agree that it's best to just ignore the people who post mean or stupid comments.

    It's 61 degrees in Cleveland!
    Tumbled leather slingbacks
    LOWL

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  24. anon 257, brilliant idea!

    If you read back over the posts that started it, it sounds like it was a troll. They post both sides of a psuedo scientific arguments and make personal, over reactional digs, and they watch the mess unravel. You may not have a huge problem- just one tiny little mean problem.

    So I think

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  25. anon @ 3:25,

    Good point. Sometimes I see a question and don't know the answer, so I don't post anything, figure I'll let someone who knows take it... I've also asked questions and have not received an answer. I guess people would rather be helpful than write, "I don't know." But maybe it is good to write that so people do not feel ignored. *shrug*

    Maybe the resolution is simple as a weekly "ask a question" post, similar to the weekly exchange?

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  26. Do any of you guys know anything about swimsuit sizing? I was looking at swimsuit tops and wasn't sure how a 4 or a 6 in, say, the underwire top compares to a 4 or 6 in dress sizes.

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  27. Size up in JC swimsuit, whether it's top or bottom or one-piece.

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  28. Dude, that is extremely helpful, exactly what I wanted to know. Does the same apply for smalls versus mediums in swimsuits? My only other experiences is with Victoria's Secret swimsuits, in which you can usually size at or a little down of what you expect (with VS, I feel like if you're a borderline S/M you can go S).

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  29. Elvis loves my leopard sequin cardi.

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  30. Swimwear is like underwear. It hasn't kept up with vanity sizing. Always size up in bottoms, especially.

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  31. Heather, thank you so much for paying attention to my post! Honestly, I felt silly saying what I said about being ignored -- and at the same time, felt compelled to say it. I try not to be needy ... Thank you!

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  32. My questions don't get answered all the time, but I don't think its something to take personally. No one knows the answer...no biggie. Sometimes I try again in another thread. Please don't take it personally 3:25. I don't think its an in-crowd thing.

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  33. I'm a consistent 0/2, XS in JC but I had to size up to 4 or S for swimsuit tops and bottoms. I ordered many pieces FS but had to return them all and reorder one size bigger and they are perfect! I think some other posters have the same feedback abt sizing up in JC swimsuits. HTH

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  34. Also, Heather, I think that ask a question post idea is a good one.

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  35. If you are 4-6 in J crew clothing-you want medium bottoms. I'm a 34C with a broad back, and I buy medium tops.

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  36. I actually size down in the small/medium/large swimsuits...I find they are sort of generous. One time I bought a medium top by accident, and it was WAY too large.

    That said...I did have one experience (last summer 2008) of having the top be too tight (it was a small). Even the medium was too tight (but better). I was able to return the too small top, but I have never had to return their bottoms. I think they have generous, forgiving materials in their swimsuits!

    I never buy one pieces from J. Crew, so there I can't help you!

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  37. Anon at 3:38 p.m. -- I will take your advice, and I know what you mean. But I've posted about a dozen questions and all have been ignored, as I remember. On the other hand, I could be wrong. I'm glad I didn't offend you all -- at least not so far -- and I did post the info on the shoes at TJ Maxx stores in Illinois.

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  38. Hi Alexis & fellow JCAs,

    Oh dear, here we are again. I remember a similar plea for civility a while back. ***SIGH**

    I'll admit, when things get a bit too harsh, I start to skim past the Anons. I start jumping through threads or stop reading them all together. Unfortunately, I sometimes end up skipping useful info this way.

    For example, I wrote a few requests regarding the pinwheel merino cardigans earlier this week. I almost ended up missing some helpful info because folks got involved in a rather neg debate about chiffon rosette tees & if a poster was being rude & comments about being called rude & etc.

    I agree that if you can't say something positive or helpful it may be best to say nothing.

    Anywho, I still appreciate the helpful info & threads like the new Shhh code & TJ Maxx part 2 dialogue. It seems that everyone is helping one another.

    I'm grateful to all the lovely JCAs who've helped me. Thanks esp to Alexis for being such a gracious hostess.

    Heather:D

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  39. I am 34B, and 0/2 fits me fine except for bikini tops. Need a 4 to keep the girls in and avoid the sausage casing look.

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  40. I feel like I get ignored not because my questions or comments are uninteresting but because there's an in-crowd here and nobody knows me posting as anon. I used to log in but these days, I lurk because I've been targeted several times. I have a thin skin. Even with a screen name, I feel the hurt when people attack me.

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  41. I find that Control-F is a big help in navigating long comment threads, if you know what you're searching for.

    Also, thanks a LOT for all the swim sizing advice!

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  42. I am actually a 10 in J.Crew tops because of my bust and I'm a 4 in bottoms and I wear a M top and bottom in J.Crew swimwear. Definitely do not size up unless you are on the bigger side of a C cup. They note that the tops fit A&B cups best and they offer some D cup and greater support tops too.

    I own more than a dozen J.Crew bikinis so I feel pretty strongly about my experience here.

    If you size up you will swim in it. No pun intended.

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  43. Great ideas all. Now we are getting somewhere!! Yay for us!!!!! I just ordered the tall white denim bootcuts (by the way) and FYI they seem to run 1 size smaller than you usually would take.

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  44. Anyone who tried the lightweight trouser jean? TTS? Or size down/up? TIA!

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  45. I don't like the idea that "if you can't say something positive, don't post". Sometimes you want to give a negative opinion when you don't like something. To disallow that would be boring.

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  46. I wish there was an easy answer for this but having multiple moderators might help. Add my list to the volunteers if you need help! I totally missed the drama this week (only read posts, not comments) but I could be checking on here fairly often if you want help w/ that. :)

    You are such a nice person Alexis and that shows throughout this blog, I hope a few meanies don't spoil it. **hugs**

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  47. Re: Swimwear

    I have gotten a couple of the bikinis and find them to be a little on the big side. Maybe its just the particular pieces I have? The "swim skirt" I think its called seemed to be a bit generous but the larger size had a bit longer length so I didn't want to go smaller. The tops were tts but not very supportive IMO.

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  48. Hi Alexis,

    It really is too bad that this topic keeps coming up. I know there are Anons who would be upset if posting anonymously were no longer an option, but in all honesty, creating an account/screen name just isn't that difficult. Not so much so that it would keep me from posting on a forum if that's what I wanted to do.

    From the issues that keep coming up (more often than not, from anonymous posters), why not *try* disabling anonymous comments and see what happens? If someone really wants to post - they'll find a way. If it keeps that same someone from posting something they otherwise wouldn't say - if they had their name attached - all the better.

    Just my 2¢.

    RatsOnParade

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  49. I don't think it's a matter of having to say something positive--we're mature adults, and as such are allowed to have dissenting opinions--but it gets unproductive when people start attacking one another's characters instead of discussing the topic at hand.

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  50. Aww, Alexis, thanks for your help and effort! I'm sure we all know that you are not uncaring about what goes on in the comments section of your blog! We know you love us, and we love you! :)

    I don't know how J.Crew discussions can become so personally heated sometimes... I think personal attacks should be avoided because they don't really solve anything. The person being attacked will most likely not change whatever it is that made others angry, so all in all, angry posters will have wasted their energies and efforts.

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  51. Thinking back to what started the lively discussion about the 3" shorts it was words like matronly and teenager that created the drama. I don't think any harm was meant but these words caused alot of drama.

    Alexis: Have you noticed that these attacks occur around the same time every day like 3:30 pm?

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  52. Hi, Alexis,
    You are awesome! Thank you for the time and energy you put into JCA and for your pleas for civility. And thanks to all the JCAs that make this a great, fun community!!!
    I've received rude responses to posts, and I always just ignore them. "Don't feed the trolls!" is one of my rules to live by. :)
    I LOVE the idea of posting a super positive non-sequitur response though! Yay for creative, positive thinking, anon@257PM!!!!!!

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  53. So I'm a 34B, bra-size-wise, and I'd like to get a swim top that supports/lifts as much as possible. When it's a S/M decision, I'm guessing that means S. In size numbers, 4 or 6? Sage wisdom greatly appreciated!

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  54. I've now signed up for blogger, even though I don't have a blog. :)

    I'm now the anon previously known as 4:09.

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  55. It depends whether the bikini top is underwire or without. I'm 34B and a size 2 underwire was too small. 4 is perfect. But if it's non-underwire, 2 works OK. 6 is too big - underwire or otherwise.

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  56. anon @ 4:16 - I don't know if this helps, but I'm a 34A and I bought the glamour swim top in a size 2 and it was REALLY snug. I can't even wear it, and my chest is tiny (I'm not going to delude myself in this department). I tried on a size 4 and it fit perfectly. Then again, the glamour is pretty padded, so maybe that was the reason why it was so snug that I had to size up (which I've never had to do before in swim tops). What kind of swim top are you looking into?

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  57. I agree with the anon who says that it would be a bit bland and uncreative if ONLY positive comments were posted - we would have missed out on the great mom jean/high heeled flare debate!

    There is a way to express dissenting opinions in an 'agree to disagree', non-nasty / personal way. The shorts length debate was an good example of how NOT to phrase things appropriately.

    But I would hate to think that I wouldn't be able to express my outrage at the next bug pin-esque concoction from JC. Cause you know it's coming...

    (:

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  58. I'm a 2 or 4P in bottoms but the XS swim skirt was so incredible tight! The S was a little loose but at least I can wear it lower on the hip.

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  59. Now that swim season is around the corner, maybe we can do post on Swimsuit sizing? It'd be helpful to discuss sizes and styles, especially as final sale looks set to be a permanent feature on J.Crew. I'm not about to spend $48 on a bikini :)

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  60. Hi Alexis. I'm so sorry that many of the comments got out of hand yesterday. Disgusted's comment about you was way, way out of line. I'd love to see a psychological study of people who leave Internet comments. I'm sure many are nice, normal people, but I'm also sure that many are disfunctional people with very poor social skills.

    Now, on to something more important. Does anyone know anything about J. Crew's espadrills? The new Caribe ones online are wonderful!

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  61. Melba toast and all anons,
    Thanks for your additional swim advice! (I was the 34B-er looking for help.) I was thinking about the solid underwire top, combined with a cheaper bikini bottom. The top is at http://www.jcrew.com/browse/single_product_detail.jsp?PRODUCT%3C%3Eprd_id=845524441791689&FOLDER%3C%3Efolder_id=2534374302024062&bmUID=1234387977532
    From what you're saying, it sounds like a 4 will do the trick in that top (even though it's not as padded/supportive as the glamour top). I really like the straight-across look of the front.
    -Anon at 4:16

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  62. Playing off Paper Bag Princess's comment, I belive that bug pins should be exempt from any rules on civil comments. Bug pins deserve all the abuse they can get. :)

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  63. I don't have much hope, but it sure would be nice not to have to hear yet another self righteous lecture on resellers.

    The belief that another free citizen cannot take their money, buy what they want, and do what they want with the purchased items, is self absorbed and irrational.

    We get, we get how you feel. We hear it 20 times a day, and yet, the resellers keep buying and selling, and the world goes round and round.

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  64. himmiefan,

    I was actually going to do a review of my new espadrilles, will just post here for you! last weekend I got lucaya metallic espadrilles at tjmaxx... they are so lightweight and comfy. The wedge is skinny but they're easy to walk in. I'm really surprised at how comfy they are. I got a size 8 which is what I normally wear.

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  65. You'll need a 4 for sure. I have the same top and the padded version too. I'm 34B. The cups run small even without padding.

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  66. It's one thing to abuse bug pins (or any universally ugly JC item) but draw a line at abusing people. As far as I remember, there weren't any personal attacks in the bug pin discussion.

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  67. I'm of the firm belief only allowing people to post from their google blogger account would greatly diminish the pettiness, because people have to give an email address when they set up the accounts, and I doubt many will go to the trouble of creating a new account every day. Why don't we at least try it for a week?

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  68. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  69. Ta-daa! I'm the Anon at 4:16 swim questioner - back with a bona fide account! (I'm also the 2:57pm mad libber.) Thanks a bunch, Melba and Anons, for your swim advice. I now feel like I'm set to make a smart final sale decision!

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  70. Anon 4:46

    I understand your rational, for sure. But I think using only accounts we'd miss out on a lot of more 'casual' posters valuable comments and opinions. And fun little harmless jokes - like the tooty pants. [What can I say - I find that stuff funny.]

    But this is Alexis' show, fo' shizzle. I will abide.

    (:

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  71. PBP, I found the tooting posts hilarious, and I don't think anyone should feel the need to hide from posting that. But I guess I disagree on your other point - to me, the abuse of regulars outweighs the benefit of "casual" posters - and they can still post, just get a google account. It costs nothing, takes two minutes, and voila, you've got a google blogger account. Like I said, to me, it'd be worth trying it for a week & then reassessing it.

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  72. saranagamana - tell us how it goes! :)

    when is this final sale going to be over already? I want to be able to buy things with the confidence that if I happen to buy something from the sale section and it DOESN'T FIT, I can RETURN it! especially since I'm a petite size and the B&M stores don't have those for me to "try out" before going the final sale route. :(

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  73. ITA with the sentiments that disagreements naturally arise. We need to know that just because someone disagrees with our opinion doesn't mean they don't like us. That being said it's never OK to personally attack someone else. I truly enjoy the community here and would have to see any 1 person bring it down.

    Alexis, I am happy to volunteer to be a moderator as well. Cheers to you and your patience.

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  74. i think this blog should move to a message board format. it would be easier to find information about sizing and etc. about an item if it had its own dedicated thread.

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  75. Another part of the problem is when someone says that they do not like a J.Crew item and then someone takes that comment personally and gets all defensive. They act like it is a personal attack on them when it is far from that. I don't mind if people don't like something that I like or vice versa. That's just part of living in a free country and you can't get mad just because other people don't have the same opinions as you. Live and let live.

    P.S. Alexis, you are doing a great job with the blog, and like you have said previously you are very busy. It's sad that you have to go cleaning up other people's messes when you have far more important things to do!

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  76. I missed out on all the TJMaxx goodies but I think it's great that some got great deals and some will even profit from their purchases. That is just the free market. I dont know why ppl started taking it personally when ppl resell.

    Guys its only clothes. Most of us come here for a break and to indulge in a guilty pleasure in midst of our hectic lives.

    I love this blog and I look forward to it.

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  77. Alexis, I've been reading this blog since about the time it started, and you've done a fantastic job.

    There's always going to be disagreements, but like you said, I think the best we commenters can do is just ignore the sh*t-stirrers and move on. That gives you the chance to get rid of unwanted posts when you get the chance without everything going to hell.

    I can only assume we are a community of adults -- there really shouldn't be a need for a moderator on a blog. A little bit of communal shunning might work the problem out.

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  78. To those who feel as though the questions they post sometimes get ignored:

    I really, truly feel that most people who post regularly on this blog try to answer questions when they can (I do, personally). Unfortunately, when the question is very item specific, sometimes there aren't many people who have the answer you're looking for!

    Additionally, because so many of the posts get so many comments (200+, most of the time) many people don't have/take the time to read through all the comments - they just casually skim them, and end up missing a lot of stuff (like people's questions). Reading through each and every comment can take forever! Not to mention, the comments on a lot of these posts move FAST - people get swept up in the information they're exchanging and hardly notice anything else going on.

    My point is: don't be discouraged! I assure you, most people are not trying to ignore you - they either skimmed over your question and didn't really see it, or legitimately didn't know the answer. And, it never hurts to post your question on more than one thread :)

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  79. Thanks everyone for your comments

    Anon at 2:57 PM: Love your clever way to respond if one feels the need to! Love it, love it, love it!!

    dinagideon & Anon at 4:09 PM & jackie form dc: Thanks for the thanks! :) Also, thanks to you for being a part of this blog.

    Heather: You are a great asset to the blog! :)

    Anon at 3:25 PM: You raise an interesting point. Sometimes I don't respond to questions because I don't have an answer (or a good answer). However acknowledging comments is a great idea. :)

    RatsOnParade: I have thought about disabling the anon feature- but whenever I am about to do it, the negative commenting simmers down. Which makes me think I shouldn't. I don't know, I find the negative commenting comes in cycles. ;) But I might take your suggestion in the future. :)

    Casual Crew: I haven't noticed the timing of the attacks. But I am totally going to pay attention to that now! :)

    the melba toast: Congrats on your new blue screenname! :)

    Roxy: I may just take you up on your offer to help moderate. :) (And thank you for the offer too!) I am creating a list of names of members who have graciously volunteered. :)

    Ameilia: Thanks for the nice words! :)

    Haus_Frau: Thanks for the understanding!

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  80. Hi all, I have been a long time anonymous poster to this blog (an SA with the stores). It is really awful when things get nasty and I have always been disappointed when that happened. However, I just went on two blogs the other night because I was curious about something that happened on Jon & Kate + 8. Wow, if anyone needs to have their faith in this blog restored, just read the nasty, vindictive, horrible comments on those blogs. You will feel so much better about our happy little community.

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  81. Alexis,

    Keep up the great work - OK?

    Might be a bit old now, but here goes:

    I am an indigo child.
    Slub Silk Penelope Dress, Slate.
    Bald Eagle.

    Cheers!

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  82. Anon@3:25, I know what you mean about unanswered questions. I usually just assume that nobody knows the answer....but it's hard not to feel slighted. One 'regular' who has consistently provided very thoughtful and useful answers (to my questions, at least) has been kitchy7. Of all the strangers on this blog, she's my favorite. :) Thanks for being such a great community member, kitchy7!

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  83. I saw ignore the rude comments....I for one have had many amazing exchanges with people and have learned so much valuable info.


    No need to get worked up by a few when there are many well intentioned j crew fans out there

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  84. sorry-- "I say" not saw

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  85. I also LOVE this blog!

    On a happy 'weekly exchange' note - a big thanks to smarty for a wonderful transaction and super fast shipping!!!

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  86. Alexis,
    I'll echo the comments of everyone else. You do a fantastic job with this blog, especially for someone who does not get paid for it OR is expected to do it. You put up with a lot, and please know that you have probably thousands of afionadas/os who are grateful and appreciate what you do. I hope the rotten few won't continue to spoil it for the rest. Throw my name in the hat for anything you need...I'd be glad to help out!

    [I love the sound of rain on my roof
    Slub cotton-silk melody dress in Pewter
    Doe, a deer, a female deer]

    :)

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  87. As an Anon, I actually prefer you turning off Anon comments. I do not want to feel that it is a leniency towards us anon.

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  88. I love your blog Alexis! I hate the nasty comments but I ususally just skip over them anyway and ignore them. I really enjoy reading most comments and find this blog helpful and informative. I love it!!!! Thank you so much for creating this blog.

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  89. Alexis, thank you for all you do with the blog! You know how I feel about all of this, and I am willing to help if you need it. :)

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  90. Alexis,
    You've been doing a great job, and I'm sooooo glad I (obsessively) follow this blog. I've gotten such fab advice about everything I've asked about.

    Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear
    Charcoal astrid boucle jacket (I finally was able to snag it yesterday!!!)
    Llamas

    :D Thanks for being so great ladies (and gents!).

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  91. Alexis, what have you got against trying for a week only to let people post from google blogger accounts?

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  92. KatyO, I love my boucle astrid. Hope you will get as much joy out of yours :-)

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  93. It would be nice if we had a way to vote on which comments add to the discussion (like on Amazon) so that we could self-moderate the posts. Those comments marked with enough votes as least useful would automatically be hidden.

    In any case, as the audience grows on this blog, it seems that either unpleasant comments will need to ignored or the blog is moderated. I am happy to volunteer to moderate if any assistance is needed.

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  94. I don't know what I would do without this blog to read every morning... and afternoon... and night :D (probably shop less and clean the house more... but anyway :)
    Alexis - Thanks for keeping it up!

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  95. Anon at 8:20 PM, Kristin, AppGal, Anon at 9:10 PM, FFM, KatyO. :Thanks for the nice words!!! I do appreciate them. :)

    AppGal & FFM & Cleo26: Thank you for the offer. I am collecting names for volunteers. If I have enough, I will try to moderating route. :)

    Anon at 8:42 PM: I agree with you- kitchy7 rocks!!! :)

    Anon at 9:37 PM: I don't have anything "against" it. ;) I may end up trying it out. :) (Although, I find your comment interesting since you are posting as anonymous.) ;)

    Cleo26: I would love a system like that too! There are some sites that allow you to rate comments too (like which are helpful, which to ignore). It's too bad blogger doesn't offer those types of features.

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  96. You are welcome to find my comment interesting, Alexis. I'd be happy to post here as a google blogger, however, the last time I did that, some petty guttersnipe attacked me, so I took a break. I checked back yesterday & again today & was interested in this thread, but it doesn't seem there's going to be any change. I've seen FFM attacked on here, someone named the professor, and over the past week, jcrewadorer was ridiculed for apparently not being a size 6. All were anon. posters.

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  97. Hi Alexis,

    Whatever you do, don't stop posting because of these negative comments please! :(

    What would we do without products reviews, weekly exchange, Jcrew sizing/quality issue discussions etc.?

    I think that the only issue is getting rid of comments that are rude straight away. They'll give up eventually. To think that a fashion blog would be a breeding ground for hostility ??? I usually just skip those comments because they are not contributing to this blog in any way.

    P.S. Thanks for doing a great job Alexis and big thanks to all those helpful JCrew Aficionadas out there

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  98. Alexis,

    You do such a terrific job on this blog. It's absolutely wonderful. The ideas that are exchanged in regards to fit, color combos, etc., are really helpful to each of us. The feeling I get is that most of us really care about helping one another out with these ideas and news bits. As for the negative comments...I choose to overlook them and read on. A big thank you to YOU and my fellow J Crew Aficionadas for all the TERRIFIC IDEAS. Love this blog.

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  99. Heather, thanks so much for the review! I'm glad to hear that the espadrilles are comfortable because I'm going to have to break down a buy a pair.

    Anon. at 4:39 - I agree, no abusing people. Just the pins.

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  100. Add to me to the list of helpers! I work at a computer so I have access all the time. Plus I read this blog religiously :)

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  101. KatyO - Major score on the berry astrid. In charcoal? Way to go!

    I AM POWERFUL AND I AM LOVING
    (the) denim pencil skirt (rocketh!)
    a soft pewter colored kitty

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  102. I read this blog everyday without fail. However, I have not even noticed much if any negativity lately b/c I just skip over it all and go on with life. Just ignore it people. Whether on a blog or in really life negativity is there...I ignore it and am happy as can be:)

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  103. One advantage of posting with a blogger name is that if, after posting something, you realize it might not come across the way you meant it, you can delete it. Unfortunately you can't with an anonymous post...

    By the way, I love the blog!!! I've been reading it for months and it's my absolute favorite website :)

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  104. It sounds like a lot of people want access to what Alexis has built up. Keep it to yourself, Alexis, people only wish they could be as successful as you!

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  105. Hi again,

    I'll admit it. I keep coming back to this thread because I'm interested in seeing what everyone has to say.

    In some ways it reminds me of those late night debates in college. For example; free speech vs. speech that is socially unacceptable / unsafe. We spent hours discussing an individual's right to be heard. What if someone unnecessarily yells "Fire" in a crowded place? What if that same someone goes into a community gathering place & expresses an unpopular opinion?

    I know that I've signed in a few times to vent about a difficult experience with Jcrew or to express an opinion about the clothes. After all, I'm the one who accused the winter catalogue of having bi-polar photography. That said, I don't think there is a need to direct negative comments against individual posters just because they hold an opinion different from mine.

    However, I am curious, why do none of the anon JCAs choose to sign something in the comments box? Mrs Manners & dear Abby's correspondents will sign their requests, even if it's a simple "Lonesome in Dover" etc. Perhaps folks could get in the habit of signing their notes.

    Either way, I'm glad that there is room for everyone. I hope that, as a community & as individuals, we can respect people's opinions & rights without legitimizing hateful, hurtful, or unproductive speech.

    Good luck fellow JCAs & may all your finds be fabulous,

    Heather:D

    P.S. Thanks again Alexis!

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  106. himmiefan: Sorry, I am just now getting thru this thread! I haven't tried this year's espadrilles, but I found that several styles from previous years ran narrow and small. I do have wide feet, but I have taken shoes as small as a 6.5 at JCrew and I needed the espadrilles in an 8 (no half sizes in the ones I've tried). I haven't tried the Lucaya that Heather has, but I've tried the Rafina, Jillian and Amelia. HTH!

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  107. Hi again,

    I almost forgot...

    "Here comes the sun, here comes the sun... It's all right"

    Super 120s Jayne dress in Tea Rose

    Otters

    Thanks Anon 2:57!

    Heather:D

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  108. I'm the poster who mentioned being ignored, and I want to thank everyone for responding to me. You know, now that I've read all the comments on the topic I raised, it has hit me: I shouldn't have taken it personally. After all, you all don't know me, and you probably didn't know of any answers to my questions. My life has just been awful for the past few years, and I was being a big mope. But thank you, all of you, for everything. You made me feel a little bit better. I have to work on making myself feel a lot better -- just haven't found a way to do that yet.

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  109. Heather D I always wonder that too. WHy be anon when you can give yourself a wicked temporary name??

    Tooty pants saturday pants with a boucle gitch

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  110. no offense, heatherD, but what difference would it make for an anon poster to sign off at the end? J.Crewadorer was ridiculed on another thread; what do you think that attacker would have signed? "Petty in Pittsburgh" "anal in anaheim" "bitch from boston"?

    I'm guessing posting isn't going to be limited to google blogger accounts for fear it would impact the bottom line of hits/day, because it'd be easy enough to try it.

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  111. I think volunteer moderators assigned to individual posts would be a great idea:)

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  112. Anon says just ignore the trolls! People on the interwebs are mean - you either have to (1) make them use a name or (2) ignore the Anons that you don't care for.

    I don't normally read the comments, except for the weekly exchange, because I'm on the hunt for a candy t-shirt in M or Lg.

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  113. Smarty, thanks for the info! Good to know.

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  114. Hi crewfan,

    You have a point. If someone is going to sign on as an anon, they may be choosing to do so to avoid recognition. I had thought that folks were appealing to Alexis to keep the anon function because that was the only option available.

    I guess I had this naive notion that if people would take ownership of there posts, it might reduce some of the negativity.

    As it is, the overlapping anon's can get very confusing. Even if someone signed with "Phantom", "Zorro" or "Madame X" it would make it easier to identify previous posts by the same person. At least it would cut down on referring to one another by timestamps.

    Thanks for voicing your opinion, I hadn't considered that side of the debate. I took no offense, because I know none was intended. Thanks also for using a sign-in.

    Respectfully,

    Heather:D

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  115. Nasty comments against regulars do not get deleted, let's get that straight. Not right away, not after several days, not weeks later.

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  116. I know this is OT but I am looking for any J Crew headbands available 4sale

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  117. jcrewadorer, I don't understand your reaction. I was using you as an example of someone who had been ridiculously attacked, that is all.

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  118. One thing that Alexis needs to do is stay true to this. It would really help.

    Dear J.Crew Aficionadas & Aficionados: Please feel free (and encouraged) to share your thoughts and opinions. :) However, please note that comments that are considered inappropriate (e.g. obscene, racist, homophobic, personal attacks) will be removed.

    And now back to J.Crew! :)

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  119. Thank you, thank you, thank you I am so glad you addressed the issue form this week and I look forward to meeting more cool people who love J Crew as much as I do....

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  120. I usually just hit anonymous but from now on...I will put my name ;) I have no problem with that. I think that's fair. I love this blog. I read it every morning(okay sometimes more than just one time a day...I also love fabulousfloridamommy(I found her from this site)but I LOVE reading your posts!)I must admit I don't commit often. I totally missed the drama from this week. ((((((HUGS))))))

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  121. Anon at 5:56 PM & 9:27 PM: I try my best to keep up with the blog. I honestly do. For example, I have over 600 emails since Thursday that I am going through right now. This takes a lot of my time, but I do it because I care for the blog.

    Lastly, I would *love* for you to help me with the moderation of the blog. It can be as simple as writing positive, constructive (not destructive) comments that we can all benefit from. :)

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Dear J.Crew Aficionadas & Aficionados: Please feel free (and encouraged) to share your thoughts and opinions. :) However, please note that this is still a personal blog. So comments that are considered inappropriate (e.g. obscene, racist, homophobic, personal attacks, rude, and just plain mean) will be removed.

And now back to J.Crew! :)