I just want to briefly talk about one of the posts last week that got off-topic (to say the least). :(First and foremost, let's avoid personal attacks. If you feel compelled to discuss with another JCA about an issue (and we have all been there), the place to address that issue is not publicly on this blog. It's better to reach out to him/her (i.e. personal email) to calmly work out the differences. (In most cases, the issue is rooted in misunderstanding not meanness.) It's hurtful to see someone (anyone) openly singled out.
Second, let's all be open to the diversity of comments. We should be free to express our love (or disappointment) with the brand without fear of backlash. If we disagree, then we should do so without being disagreeable. Hearing different opinions & takes on the various aspects of J.Crew is one of the benefits of this blog (or at least I hope it is). :)
Third, let's remember that it's hard to decipher tone & intent from comments. One person's disparaging comment is another person's humorous take. Therefore, let's give the benefit of the doubt when we come across a comment that strikes us (or even skip over it). Especially since our community is usually so kind and generous with each other. Similarly, sometimes we write not realizing it can be interpreted in different (possibly hurtful) ways and so we should be mindful of it. :)
Fourth, I love that we are all passionate about this brand! I mean, that is what it really all comes down to. Why else would we frequent a blog about J.Crew? I like the Gap, but I don't actively seek out Gap-fan blogs. If I don't get a coupon from Ann Taylor, I don't mind it at all. But J.Crew... oh J.Crew! J.Crew has casted a spell on us and I honestly believe our comments (good and bad) reflect our love for J.Crew!
Fifth, I actually understand and sympathize with both sides of the argument. Some of you are tired of the negative comments that offer no insight or value, while others of you want to express your legitimate concerns. So I am going to take up the suggestion from Ibi to create a weekly "Looking to LOVE", as well as a "Looking to HATE" posts. We can then share our current best & worst experiences with the brand we love to love!
Lastly, I really like the suggestion from Desert Flower (in this post) about creating a daily "catch-all" post (similar to the daily posts while I was gone on vacation). This way, any news worthy topics of the day that don't fit perfectly with the current posts have a home. What are your thoughts on it? Do you think I should try it for awhile?
Sorry for the long post (& not addressing this sooner). And now back to J.Crew!
I just want to say you are amazing Alexis. Whatever you decide to do is fine by me, I'll still be reading!
ReplyDeleteThanks Kristin!!! :)
ReplyDeleteI am flattered that my suggestion was noteworthy.
ReplyDeleteProps to Alexis for being open and diplomatic as always! We love what you do!
Tx
OK, that pic is cracking me up.
ReplyDeleteWhatever you decide, Alexis, will be fine by us, I am sure.
Thank you for running this blog!
Ibi, you had a great suggestion! I really thought it was good and I plan on creating those posts for this week. :)
ReplyDeleteRose, I love that picture. It makes me want to paint my ladder a shade of pink. ;)
ReplyDeleteAlexis, this is a fantastic blog and you do a great job running it. I'm not sure why it got negative but I think you bring up the most valid point, we're all here because we love JC. It doesn't mean we love everything, I don't even think it is possible to love 100% of a clothing line. When it was too preppy, I complained and now I complain because there isn't enough prep. And yet I am still very much addicted, something which I don't think will change anytime soon.
ReplyDeleteThanks for all you do!
Yes to all of the above. :-) Thank you Alexis!
ReplyDeleteCaroline: I agree that we all love J.Crew! The company is lucky to have such devoted fans like us. :)
ReplyDeleteElaine: Thanks! :)
I agree with Kristin.
ReplyDeleteThanks Alexis!
You're always the voice of reason, Alexis. :)
ReplyDeleteAlexis,
ReplyDeleteThanks for not ignoring this conflict and thanks for trying to resolve it so gracefully.
You're fantastic.
I love your blog!
Alexis,
ReplyDeleteYou are an awesome moderator!! You always strike the right balance between giving us our freedom and keeping us in line. Could you come to my house and referee my 3 boys???
I think both are great ideas! We do all love JCrew but may express different sentiments from time to time. Now we can bond with those that feel the same way as we do, and easily pass on those that are feeling the opposite. :)
ReplyDeleteYou do such a great job with this blog and I appreciate you addressing this tough topic! Well done!
as usual--you are the BEST den mother Alexis--I am guessing you work at the UN for your day job. I like the suggestions. I was getting weary of the Jerry Springer aspect of our disagreements. The Love/Hate section could be very interesting or we can opt to skip it if we prefer more general comments. THANKS!
ReplyDeleteYes, yes, yes to all of the above sentiments!
ReplyDeleteAs always, Alexis... you rock!
Sounds like a great idea Alexis! Thanks, as always, for all you do...you are simply AMAZING! :)
ReplyDeleteI think the looking to love/looking to hate is an interesting idea. However, people are still going to post where/when they want anyway. Alexis, you added the JCA review thread and it's helpful. People still put reviews & opinions in any thread they want despite a weekly place for reviews. I think there will always be new people that don't know the ropes, so to have spaces for certain commentary will be lost on them - as will aspects of the culture of this blog. I think one reason people post what they want in whatever place is that not everyone is at a physical computer. Some people are on handheld devices/phones & can't navigate around to get to the appropriate place to put a comment. I think people should be mature enough to skim and skip over comments they don't like. There are always waves on every type of board. y husband said he sees the waves on the message boards he frequents. Perhaps some people feel we're in a negative wave right now. If that's the case, just come back after awhile or just skim & skip.
ReplyDeleteIf we can take your advice and realize we don't always know someone's intent, our humor is not always the same, English is the common language but not everyone's 1st language and sometimes some of us are just having a bad day -- having a place for all hate or all love isn't necessary. I liked the catch all thread very much and vote for that.
Alexis, it *is* really amazing what you do here and I am always impressed. Thanks for reading.
I am glad you addressed this and appreciate your post.
ReplyDeleteI am fine with whatever new categories you set up, but I will be surprised if people stick to them very well. The catch all posts were nice to have as many of us frequently have off topic comments. Personally, I will avoid more biased threads like love/hate ones. I do like hearing about legitimate complaints, but I really don't love the idea of a catchall "I hate" catgory.
Honestly, when we get more than a post or so away from the weekly review post or other set places to put our comments, I tend to not go back to them. This is not because I am ignoring your nice little designations but because I notice other posters seem to stop commenting when the posts get lower on the page and I would assume they also stop checking them as frequently for new posts. Personally, I am not going to bother typing a review on the review post when it has fallen off the page.
Thanks, Alexis. I am glad you are back...
Thx, Alexis.
ReplyDeleteThis is OT, but at least I can laugh about it now (ok had I not located it, I'd be so mad).
So hubs FINALLY decided to go ahead and purge some of the things in the office.On our overstuffed bookcases (of which I use 5 of the 40 shelves available), I keep my JC catalogs going back to late summer 2006 and a stray holiday 2005). The catalogs are kept in magazine containers. Well, Mr. I'm-on-a-roll decided to recycle all the magazines he could find and tossed a number of them in the recycle bin. My heart started pounding so fast when I discovered about a dozen catalogs were gone. I love the man so much, but had he recycled my beloved Paris catalog, there would have been some major tears shed--and frankly, his 30+ year-old comics would have joined the recycling bin. Fortunately, I was able to retrieve the paper bags that contained the newspapers and catalogs and after much tearing through the house, found the Paris catalog. Blood pressure back to normal.
He rolled his eyes when I told him I save my JC catalogs. "Store catalogs of clothing? Why?," he asked. "That's dumb."
Whaaaat do you mean why?
Crap! I left the room and promptly ate not 1, but 2 Ferrero Rocher hazelnut chocolates I keep for emergencies such as Aunt Flo visits, pregger craving or stressful events like this. When the washing machine broke 2 weeks ago, I didn't break a sweat, but the Paris catalog missing put me in a panic mode.
I think he thinks I'm nuts about the catalogs. Maybe he has a point, or NOT. Hence I had to vent here, because you ladies would understand my brief panic. Hmmpf! If he ever, ever, ever tosses any JC catalog again, those yellowed Led Zeppelin music books are goin' in a fall bonfire festival.
Ok, I've vented. Ciao!
Alexis, thanks for all you do! I've been a grateful follower for more than two years and I still visit daily!
ReplyDeleteCMG you are not alone. I have moved my catalogs several times, once across country. I used to have a couple of each and purged them down to one each which makes me even more paranoid since they go back to summer 2004. I have them on a bookshelf and my husband knows never to toss a JC catalog. And I don't toss his Fantasy Football mags (even though it's silly and they aren't real teams, they're made up!)
ReplyDeleteCMG...ha ha...so funny. The other nite my husband asked me for one of my catalogs to use for his work and had the nerve to pick up the the latest JC catalog. I smiled sweetly & told him I hadn't even looked thru it. I'm sure he saw panic in my eyes and probably saw my heart thumping thru my eyelet bow blouse because he shifted gears & asked me for one of my old ones. Like that was a better suggestion. I took him to the stash, trying to figure out how to tell him NO! in the most polite way. He was pretty quiet when he saw my issues in their plastic covers. Lucky for him a found a duplicate of a summer catalog from this year. Yes, back off, guys.
ReplyDeleteBeautifully handled Alexis.
ReplyDeletei think you run a amazing blog and i want to thank you for that.
ReplyDeletehowever you decide,i am sure you make a good decision.
Alexis, thank you for keeping up this blog for more than two years. You really are amazing and have handled so many difficult situations gracefully.
ReplyDeleteI love the idea of the daily posts since as Gigi said people new to this blog may not check all the posts if there are several in a given day.
Anyways, I support any decision. :-)
@CMG: that's a great story. I wish I had kept all my previous catalogs since it got tossed away during my last move.
Ok, so I figured out what you were talking about! Thank you so much for addressing this on the blog. You do a great job of setting the tone here so everyone can be heard. I really appreciate your encouragement that everyone act maturely and treat others with respect.
ReplyDeleteThe daily catch-alls were great. Sometimes it's hard to know where to put comments that don't seem to fit any of the posted topics. It seemed like there was a lot of fun interaction among JCAs.
The love/hate posts I personally feel ambivalent about. On the one hard, I can see it helps screen what some really don't want to read. On the other, it seems really segregated - like do I split my posts up if I have something "good" and something "bad"? And some comments are more nuanced and are neither.
I'm not sure why readers can't skip comments or posts they don't like or agree with. But whatever you decide, I'm sure everyone is happy to comply. I just love this blog and thank you so much for your time and effort keeping it together!!
Thank you for this post Alexis and welcome back!
ReplyDeleteEchoing the other posters, just want to say a huge THANK YOU for running this blog. We all rant and rave to different degrees, and it's a good reminder for all of us to remain civil and keep the crazy talk to ourselves, or if you have a personal blog. I have stayed away from the political/topical blogs for years because of the vitriol spewed on the threads in response to some news story or topic. I'm so glad that you're providing us mature ladies a place for civil discourse on our fave retail obsession.
ReplyDeleteI like the daily catch-all post, but don't think it's necessary to have love/hate postings as that may be hard to moderate. If we keep all the discussions in one place, it'd make us more aware of our tone and temper ourselves accordingly.