Friday, July 11, 2008

A Quick Note to J.Crew Aficionadas

Dear J.Crew Aficionadas:

I am delighted by how well this community shares and helps each other out. :) This blog really wouldn't be wonderful without everyone's insight. :)

However, I do have a few requests:
  • First, please do not mention any promotional deals, reward programs, programs, websites, etc. that requires members to sign up, or the like. While I am at it, don't SPAM the blog with promotional comments either. This blog is not a free marketing tool for you to sell your products or services to.
  • Second, please do not post comments that are just promoting your eBay site (or whatever auction site or the like, you are using). I don't mind if we are talking about a particular item that you happen to be selling (or if you checked with me before posting the comment). But I don't want to see several comments in each post that are just about an eBay listing. (It dilutes the conversation.)
If you ignore either request, I will delete your comment. :(

What I will do is this: make a post every week for individual members who want to swap/sell/share among yourselves (and is independent of this blog). This is where you can mention your outside auction site. (I like the idea of helping each other out, so I think this will make things a lot easier for everyone.) This posting is not for resellers however (and you know who you are!)
I am aware that there was no clear policy on this blog about that (so I completely understand why you posted what you did). However, there is one now. :) If you have any questions (or if you aren't sure about a comment you want to post), feel free to reach me at jcrewaficionada at yahoo dot com.

Thank you in advance!
-Alexis :)


  1. I think the recent comments in the last few posts have really seemed alot like SPAM, again...didn't Alexis just have to mention this a couple days ago? This blog belongs to her, and I really think it highly appropriate and considerate to ask her permission on those kinds of posts first. :)

  2. Thanks FabulousFloridaMommy for understanding. I do like how we help each other, and I think that is great. (I did think the "sign-up deals" come across like SPAM.)

    But I think having a dedicated post each week for people to swap and share is a great one. (I suggested awhile back eCrater as a free site where people can list items.)

    What day of the week should the post be on? I can do any day, but is there a preference?

  3. Alexis: How about Monday? I think everyone loves a good pick-me-up on Monday morning! :) This could definitely be it... Even though I'm not allowed to buy anything for awhile, especially since I snagged the fabulous polka dot San Telmo tonight thanks to webbysuzy! :) I'm so glad that I held off on the black one Wednesday night...

  4. It's a southern thing: Monday sounds like a great day for the weekly posts! :)

    Also, congrats on the Polka Dot San Telmo. I think you are really going to like it. Both FabulousFloridaMommy and I tend to wear it the same way: with a fitted white top (either tank or tee) and a pair of wide leg pants (preferably dark trouser jeans). The silhouette is quite pretty that way. Let's us know what you think once you get it!!! :)

  5. I know it's impractical for J.Crew but I really do wish I could try on some of their wedding dresses in the store! Right now, I'm currently interested in 3 bridal gowns and not only do I have to take a stab at what size I am, but I have to order them to be delivered to try them on. That's an investment of thousands of dollars. :) I am working with a wedding coordinator but it doesn't get around the fact that my up-front investment could be high.

    Logically, I should go with the Sophia long silk dress, which I do like a lot. As a nod to my Chinese heritage, I want to wear my mother's Chinese gown during my reception. If I'm going to wear a wedding gown for even less time than a normal bride, it seems hard to justify a very expensive dress. :)

    That said, I still can't help but love the Lucinda gown. It doesn't have any beading or lace, which is too frilly for me so that suits me just fine. And I feel like I'd feel just magical / more bride-like with a skirt like that. BUT 2500!?!? That's the logical part of my brain. The emotional part is sighing, "But it's so pretty!"

    Does anyone have any experience with J.Crew bridal dresses? I know we had a post about it earlier but it seems like posting to more-recent posts gets better responses. Thanks! If people would prefer keeping this off the post, my email is

  6. Melanie: I agree with you! The only reason I didn't go with a J.Crew bridal gown was because I couldn't see one in person. The Sophia long silk dress is beautiful though!

    I also think it is wonderful that you might wear your mom's Chinese gown during the reception. Whatever a wonderful tradition to have. :)

  7. Hey melanie:)

    Have you seen the Eyelet Cascade Gown? it's made of cotton, but the design is ever so chic! Plus, it's 1200.00 and if you use the coupon for 20% off, you can have it for 960, wow! I'm sure if you called CS and told them you are buying a gown, they will give you free shipping.

  8. Oh! I forgot to add. People not planning a wedding might not care but I stumbled across this fun blog as a great inspiration for wedding ideas. Perhaps I am pre-disposed to like it because the bridal / bridesmaids gowns heavily feature J.Crew. :) It's called The Preppy Wedding. Some of the wedding ideas are so cute!

  9. Melanie: Where and when are you getting married? Isn't the traditional Chinese bride have several wedding gowns/dresses she changes/wears throughout the day/evening?

  10. webbysuzy, thanks for your responses! I am actually going to get married in North Carolina (in my hometown!) so I'll be planning the wedding from California. I am newly engaged so we haven't settled on a date yet, but I've always wanted an outdoor wedding. Southerners know any summer month spells discomfort for outdoor weddings. I have been debating April / September 2009 / 2010. I am so on the ball, can you tell. ;)

    Although you could consider since I am wedding dress shopping, I am very on the ball! But that is pretty much the only aspect I have gotten serious about.

    And yes, that is definitely the Chinese tradition. I can't imagine trying to pick that many outfits, so I am just going to go with a bridal gown + the traditional embroidered red silk. :) I am really excited! I have been trying really hard to figure out how to meld my and my fiancee's two cultures into one wedding (I'm Chinese, he's Swedish). Chinish fushion?!?! But I think I might end up getting uninspired and doing good ol' Southern bbq. :)

  11. Melanie: First of all, congratulations! :)

    I think both gowns are stunning. One thing that I noticed is that they have completely different silhouettes - v-neck a closer fitting skirt vs. strapless with a full skirt. Just something to think about...

    I have to agree with Alexis too. Wearing your mother's Chinese gown is a beautiful nod to your family! :)

  12. its.a.southern.thing: Thank you very much for the congrats!

    The silhouettes are very different! It's hard to figure out what the one with the full skirt will look like on me ... I am rather short so I wonder if it will just emphasize that?

    Also, its.a.southern.thing, I love your username. :) How did you come up with it?

    Alexis, what did you end up going with for your bridal gown?

  13. okay melanie, gotta come clean and let you know that i'm chinese too. lol! my hubby is half italian and irish. he was still studying when we got married so we had no money. so we plunkered down 65 bucks and got married in city hall, here in new york city. not very romantic, but being nervous yes!

    we've been living here in new york since 2002. have to say, the eyelet cascade gown is the most stunning gown yet made by j crew. i've seen many gowns, reem acra is my favorite to lesser known names at small boutique houses. j crew has the best price. bridal gowns goes for 5000 easy. whatever you do, don't settle for david bridals (imho).

    oh and my mom has the traditional red dress. i didn't wear it. didn't have a chance and it doesn't fit me anyways.

  14. I think I will just keep up my mountain of posts in this one tonight. :) One thing I am curious about are the different "preppy" styles that everyone has. Blumre's comment in a previous post is what sparked the thought to begin with (I meant to ask what New York meets Paris preppy meant but never did). As someone who is still discovering their style (I seriously used to buy regular-length pants and never wear them because I didn't have the proper heels even though I knew I never wore heels, just flats. Now I've embraced my flats-wearing!), I'd love to hear what everyone's styles are and even how they've evolved over the years.

  15. Melanie: I really do love the idea that you have of wearing your mom's gown. :)

    For my gown, I went with a Spanish (my heritage) designer although the name really doesn't reflect it (St. Patrick's- I know! Sounds real Spanish right?) But I also had a BCBG tulle gown that I wore during the reception (so I could dance). :)

  16. melanie: i've seen my cousins wear their white gown during the church ceremony and the red dress during dinner banquet. if the wedding occurred in san francisco or brooklyn for example, there are chinese wedding planners who usually have a package for their brides that includes all hair, makeup, accessories, how many dress/gowns to lend and for their maids of honors as well. my cousin just got married this past february and she borrowed three dresses, accessories (fur cape, tiara) hair and makeup done and it was 300 all together.

  17. Alexis: I know we're probably not talking about the same dress, but I have seen BCBG tulle party dresses and they are SO CUTE! I have wanted to get one for awhile!

    webbysuzy: Oh, I didn't know that they had package deals like that! We're getting married in North Carolina and I don't know if there are deals like that there.

    I also feel like I don't want to have a traditional Chinese wedding. For example, I want to eschew the banquet for something more casual and laidback, to reflect my personality. We'll see what really happens though. :) All I know is, my side of the family is bringing all sorts of Asian-crazy to the table and the reception is going to be interesting. Maybe you had the right idea and I should follow your lead? ;)

  18. Oh Melanie! The sad part of why I married at City Hall was because my hubby and I were still students and we had no money. The very unhappy part was my father past away in 2002, so why have a wedding when he's not there to give me away. My husband's mother was sick and later that year she died.

  19. webbysuzy, I'm so sorry to hear that. And I hope my post wasn't too flippant. For all their craziness, I am very happy to have my family come see my special day. And I wish yours could have been there too, in their entirety. Even though that year must have been hard on you, I hope that the years since have been much better. :)

  20. Not to rain on your parade, you should plan the wedding how it will please you and your future husband.

    Asian crazy, that's a good term! Yeah, my husband still figuring out my mother and all my old aunts and uncles from the Old Country!

  21. Webbysuzy: $300 for everything included is amazing!! :)

    Melanie: We might be talking about the same dress! :) (It was very popular a few years ago.) I can't find a picture of it but I actually own the long white tulle dress, in addition to the knee length black tulle dress, and the half tulle pink dress. The tulle was broken up into little squares in rows on top of each other. :) I like tulle as much as I like ruffles.

  22. Yeah, my husband still figuring out my mother and all my old aunts and uncles from the Old Country!

    Yes, I feel like that will be the case for us too! I'm second generation so my grandmothers came from China are especially conservative and VERY vocal about it. My branch of the family is pretty laidback - probably because we didn't grow up with my grandmothers very nearby. ;)

    I'd love to do a sort of Swedish / Chinese smorgasbord but I wonder if I could find a caterer in NC who can put out pickled herring and gravlax alongside stick rice and pork buns. :) Either way, I know it's definitely going to be a laidback casual wedding. With red velvet cake!

  23. Alexis: I am also of Spanish heritage - both my parents are from Cuba, and my dad's family is originally from the Barcelona area. I also went with a Spanish designer for my wedding gown (Pronovias, based in Barcelona) :) In addition, I am moderately obsessed with tapas ... but that is another story!

    Melanie: I also liked the idea of wearing something to reflect my heritage, but my mother and grandmother didn't have their dresses. Instead I decided on the Spanish dress and then wearing my grandmother's ring on my right hand. If you have the dress, I think that is a wonderful way to incorporate your heritage :) Also, don't worry about starting to plan too early. My fiance and I have been engaged since March 2006 - we started planning right away, and we got our pick of everything we wanted. People may look at you funny, but you know the early bird gets the worm, haha!

  24. I love all the wedding talk! We got married on the beach in Jamaica and I loved it. I still bought a pretty traditional wedding dress to wear. I was still in law school and didn't want the hassle of a big wedding. We are both pretty glad with how it turned out.

    Melanie, I am sure your wedding will be gorgeous! Does the web site show Vineyard Vines stuff too? I ask because those weddings are all in my vineyard vines catalogs....

  25. Forgot to mention that Mondays sounds like a great day to have the post! I am so excited. I bought a top from FFM and think this is a great way to buy stuff :o) FFM sells it on her blog and that is really easy.

  26. Michelle: I can't believe it: St. Patricks is a line from the Pronovias House! How funny is that!?!

    Tired Memphian: I like the wedding talk too! Such a happy topic. :)

  27. Yes, I think that buying, selling, and swapping among ourselves (away from the website!) is great. I have some things on eBay too that I got final sale but didn't fit, like a lot of other people, and if there are others out there who would like what we can't use, it's a win-win! I think Mondays is a good day to post because it helps alleviate the Monday blaaaahs.

  28. Alexis: I thought they looked similar, and now looking at their websites, the sites look almost exactly the same. That's too funny!

  29. I am so happy to hear that a post every Monday about swapping/sharing (independent of this blog) will work. I think a lot of us have things in our closets that we probably haven't used that much (if at all) that would work out well for someone else. ;)

  30. melanie: I know how it feels about growing up with conservative parents (and a grandmother in the house too!) When I went away to college, I became more open minded. Now imagine the shock on my aunts and uncles when they saw my husband the first time: hairy fella with long curly hair and a goatee LOL!

    I think have a casual wedding reception is great. I'm sure there is a trusted chinese restaurant in NC that can cook some dishes and place them in party trays.

    Will your family be giving you your bridal dowry? (gold jewelry)

  31. I'm so excited, I love wedding dresses as much as I love fall clothes! The San Patrick dresses look lovely! Sometimes, I look at the dresses on J.Crew's site and wish they had them in a store near me so I could go try them on. I really enjoyed dress shopping.

  32. michelle: I love looking at J Crew's wedding gowns. The Eyelet Cascade gown is very couture style. I also like the Mia Gown in that light citron color. Very elegant and classy.

  33. webbysuzy: I am inexplicably drawn to the Mimi t-shirt gown. It's not my normal style, but there's something so chic about it. I like how the dress is comfortable yet elegant. Perfect for a more informal wedding. It's so novel, and I love that!

  34. could you please do a post on "back to school", while i know many are graduated, I would love other's opinion for going away to college with a chic, j.crew, wardrobe? Also, does anyone have any clue when the fall collection is supposed to come out?

  35. webbysuzy: Good question! I know my mom plans to give me half of her gold jewelry (the other half is for my brother's wife). The tea ceremony is where you typically also get gold jewelry from family members but I'm not sure how to incorporate that.

    I want to do a Chinese tea ceremony as well, but don't know how to that would vibe with a casual wedding reception. In many Chinese weddings I have been to lately, they have the tea ceremony as part of the reception, but my mother told me it was more of a private ceremony to be done with just you + parents present.

    I had also heard that tea ceremonies are to introduce family members to each other and that's a logical reason on why it should be done at the reception. What are your thoughts?

  36. Michelle: Thanks! I'm glad I'm not the only preemptive planner. :) Are you almost at the end of the road for your planning?
    Tired Memphian: Yes, I think they do have some VV stuff! I wish the pictures were bigger, as sometimes I'd like to look at things in closer detail but can't. I also wish there was a VV near me, so I could try stuff on in person. :) Their dresses look so cute!

    Alexis: I also like the weekly trade-y posts too and think it sounds like a great idea!

  37. Alexis....something to consider. I'm also a member of the Purse Forum. They have a specific area for those that want to advertise, trade, swap, etc. However to participate you have to have a certain # of a posts, be an active member, etc. I believe that is there way to avoid spammers. Anyway something to think about. I think you are doing a great thing here already!!!! I read your page every morning!

  38. melanie: Yes, we had the tea ceremony. My mother flew out three weeks later after we tied the knot at City Hall.

    Our tea ceremony was performed at the restaurant, because my mother wanted my relative out in Brooklyn side to see that my daughter was given away, and of course some of my relatives aren't that keen that my husband is caucasian. I received my gold jewelry after the tea ceremony. I saw my mother becoming emotional with each piece of jewelry she placed upon me.

    There are four children in my family, and I'm the only one who married. My sybilings aren't going to get married in the future, so I got all of the jewelry.

    I have seen my relatives had a more private tea ceremony, and it's usually done at the parent's home. A suggestion is to have the church ceremony, then change to your red wedding dress, perform the tea ceremony privately and then arrive at the reception with the dress and wearing your gold.

    oh btw, did he give you an engagement ring yet?

  39. Michelle: The entire Pronovias House is just beautiful with their designs. I also look at J.Crew wedding dresses all the time- they are very pretty too! :)

    Anonymous at 12:48 AM: I think a "Back to School" post is a great idea. I will definitely do one. When do you think I should do the post- the end of this month? The beginning of next month? Maybe now (so there is still time to make purchases)? :)

    Pink1: I think that is a great idea to just have regular contributors post in that trade/swap/sell section! (Unfortunately Blogger doesn't let me have too many options for specific posts.) But I will definitely look into seeing if I can do something similar. :)

  40. Alexis: That sounds so pretty! When my cousin was married, his sister wore a BCBG tulle party dress in brown with a ribbon-bow at the waist. I always said I'd get one and never did. ;) I just checked Nordstroms and it appears that's not a style anymore. :( Sad. I should have gotten one when I had the chance.
    webbysuzzy: Ohmygosh! That's a great idea to have the tea ceremony performed between the reception and the ceremony. I never would have thought of that! When my fiancee and I got really serious, I started thinking about it more and more and I seriously could not get past the awkwardness of halting a casual reception to make everyone "watch" the tea ceremony. I think it's something that people would be interested in seeing, but probably for only 2 - 3 pours before it got boring. ;) Weddings I have been to have done it for all the senior relatives, so it makes me wonder if I should do it to just our parents or to everyone in the family?

    Also, you have some great ideas / opinions on this, especially since we share the same culture and experience of being in a traditional Asian family and marrying a Caucasian male. I would be really interested in taking this off the message board, so we can talk more and not bog down this post. :) Is it possible to email you? If not, we can keep it here, too, whatever is most comfortable or you!

  41. melanie: Sure, my email is . Don't know if I can be much help, but I'll just share with you my current experiences sofar.

  42. This comment has been removed by the author.

  43. Melanie: Yes, our wedding is in October so we are almost there :) After almost 2.5 years of engagement, we are very excited!

  44. Hi Alisha (Aly): Thanks for understanding! :) I think it would be better (more convenient and easier for everyone) if we have our offers under a weekly post. ;)

    Michelle: Congrats on your wedding in October!!! :)

  45. I ordered the RHUMBA striped bikini back in January, received two BOTTOMS instead of a top and bottom, and although I called that very day, they were already out of tops. Does anyone have a RHUMBA string top in size M or L that they would like to sell?

  46. I ordered a RHUMBA string bikini set back in January, received two bottomw instead of a top and bottom, and although I called back to reorder that very day, (THAT VERY MINUTE!) they were sold out. Does anyone have a RHUMBA string bikini top in a M or L they would like to sell?

  47. Hi. I am looking for the giraffe Hayworth top from the January 2009 catalog in a size 0 or 2. Let me know if you have one or know where to find one. Thanks!

  48. Hi,

    I am looking for a wedding dress, size 0 in Jcrew...I am 34B (bust), wear size 4 in bebe...sometimes size 2in other stores...
    In white or ivory. Please let me know if you sell unexpensive one...around $300. Email me at
    Thanks ;)

  49. looking to sell- all piece worn and in very good condition
    Vintage Matchstick Cords- size 0- glazed pecan-30$
    cadogan ankle boots- size 7.5- toffee 55$
    kelsey ruffle top-size 2- sweet papaya 25$
    chevalier cardigan-size XS-black 50$
    thank you& any questions please contact elisabeth:

  50. i know this is a very late request but does anyone have the wool twill nouvelle jacket in cinamon from the fall 2010 catalog that they would be willing to sell? PLEASE???


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Dear J.Crew Aficionadas & Aficionados: Please feel free (and encouraged) to share your thoughts and opinions. :) However, please note that this is still a personal blog. So comments that are considered inappropriate (e.g. obscene, racist, homophobic, personal attacks, rude, and just plain mean) will be removed.

And now back to J.Crew! :)